Summer Showdown: Not The Greatest Lover

Dear Friends,

Last night, for the first time in over 15 years, I started to remember why when it comes to love; I suck at being a great boyfriend. This stemmed from my teen years. Most teens learn about love and lost during those years in high school. I have told the story of my high school sweetheart so many times that I lost count. Even the events that led to the break up have been somewhat a legend to those who know me. However, I never learned to be a great boyfriend. I might be single now but that’s only because of the events of May. When it comes to loving someone, I know I can do it. At the same time, I know I suck at being a great boyfriend. This one relationship made things for the next four years hard to deal with and eventually showed me that I am not a great man to be in love with.

My love life started in high school. There are a lot of things that causes me to figure that I am not the man of most women’s dreams. Even though I think I am better now, I still think any woman that wants to be with me have to go through so much shit to even get my love. My high school sweetheart was not only my alpha to my love life but she is the only person I truly loved. She did not make me a shitty lover but the events that occurred did. I can say that if I saw her again, I would do anything to get her love and heart. However the women after her got someone that came into a relationship half cocked. I have been able to gain knowledge in everything else but love and relationships elude me. I have had two relationships where it did not blow up in my face or end badly. Both women are still close to me but after my dealings with Andrea, I am giving love one more shot before letting go of the ideal of love for good.

So did I ever become a great lover? Well it depends on who you ask that question. I can spoil a woman. I can make them feel appreciated. I can make them feel wanted. However, I cannot keep them happy. That’s only because of what I am doing. Most of my relationships were either friends with benefits that I tried to turn into more or something that I could not deal with. Even my baby momma was a rebound relationship that was turning into something more but ended because I moved on. I said that I am giving myself one more chance to show that I am a great lover. I can be a man to some woman’s dreams. We will see about that. There will be more to come.





Eugene Chandler III