Summer Showdown: Eye of The Storm

Dear Friends,


A couple of days ago, it was about to rain and storm, I am reminded of my childhood. I would remember being in my room alone with the TV off and just listening to the thunder and lightening. For some reason, storms calm me down and make me slow down my pace. I need some calm in my life right now. A normal storm and what I am going through are different in strength. A normal storm comes with rain, wind, and leaves damage. The storm I am dealing with comes with stress, loss, and eventually damages that can never be fixed. I feel like things could be better but of course they are getting worse.

I am not as strong of a person as I use to be. I use to be able to deal with stress and life like a pro. However, in my older years, I think my tolerance of stress is getting weaker by the day. I allowed a lot of shit to get to me. I allowed too many people to get in my head and my heart. My armor is losing the luster and shine it use to have. Something I keep thinking about is what if I never did this or that in my life. Or maybe if I changed this or that in my life, changes does make things either better or worse. The storm of life tends to make life harder or easier on a person. I wish my life was easy but it is not. I was born into a rough life and no matter what will have things rough.

As I look outside and see the dark clouds, the rain drops and feel the calm before the storm, I think about what’s to come. What’s to come for me is my 33rd birthday and also going to back to school to get my bachelor’s degree. Also what’s to come is my final go at love and being a better man. As this storm comes towards me, I am going to make my final stand of changing my life and letting go of the stress of my past. I am getting tired of the same thing in my life. Get dumped, then move on, then find someone new then stress at work, stress from the past, and finally get dumped again. I am tired of this cycle. I know people will say stop your bitching. To those people, I say I’m not bitching but tired of déjà vu. For now, it is time to get soaked by the storm and hope the rain washes away the pain and stress. There will be more to come.




Eugene Chandler III