May Madness: Being Played

Dear Friends,

We live in a world of users and abusers. Users basically use people to gain something or get something for free. Abusers hurt people and make life hell for others. The result of being used and abused is called being played. Being played is something people don’t want to happen to them. There are good hearted people in this world and those are the main targets for users and abusers. I want to share a story about something like this and also share my opinion on being played.

Here’s the story that I was referring to:

I had a friend recently tell me about how she met someone but they have been playing with them and also using them. It started with friendship and favors. However, when her lady friend lost his job and also lost his car, it became a bigger issue. He would take her car and use her money for silly things rather than pay bills. Now it is getting worse because this guy is teasing her with sex and mind fucking her by lying to her. She is not only confused but losing money and almost lost her job because of this guy.

Now, I have a simple rule for the story above: If you can help someone then help them but if you cannot, don’t lose sleep over it.  It is said to see someone go through something like this. This is how things are now because there are a lot of people that are unemployed and they become users and abusers. Now when they become that, that’s when they being to play with other people’s emotions and wallets.

My advice to my friend was simple: Move on and forward because this person will hurt you if you don’t. I hate to see someone being used and played but it is something that cannot be avoided. Especially, when she has a good heart and is a good Christian woman that is getting played.

One more thing, I know you cannot avoid this but you prevent it by simply not being as trusting as you have been. I have learned to see these users and abusers from a mile away. Some people would call me a user and an abuser. All I can say is that life is a bunch of twist and turns. All you can do is go with the flow or get hurt by the curves. That’s all for now but there will be more to come.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Being a Bitch....

Dear Friends,

Lately, I have been hit hard with something that I find funny and tragic. This is something that most men won’t bring up or speak of. We as men are told not to call women bitches but there are times that women do act like a bitch. I know that if you call a woman a bitch you are also talking about your mother.  I know at times my mother acts like a bitch but she also has mellowed in her old age. With all that said, I really think it’s time to bring this up because some women act entitled or spoiled at times. I also think that there are other reasons why some women act like a bitch.

If you were to ask women their number one pet peeve with men these days, it is what I call the trifecta. If a man has a job, car, and a place then they are happy and cool. However, in life we have issues and difficulties and some times but some women don’t care about that. That’s where some women become bitches because of their lack of empathy. Something I have been seeing is that when a man have a job, they are cool but if they are broke, fuck you loser. Same thing when a man has no place or a car. It is growing to be a double standard with this because if a woman is homeless, jobless, or car-less then some men would be dicks to them.

Some women are materialistic. The ones that are would not hide it but tell you. Others are not going to say something but you could pick up on it. The women that act like bitches tend to also act materialistic because they don’t want to be without. Women do work hard these days for what they have but it is also growing a materialistic mentality. A man could be flashy and showy but if a woman does that, she is a bitch as well.

One more thing, women are being snobs. Being a bitch is also like being a snob. Their mothers in the past were not selective with things but there are more choices. Women of the past would pass these traits to their kids. These days it is growing to be an issue because the younger women grow to being snobs and being bitchy at the same time.

I might not have made a clear point but my point is that women that are being a bitch these days are going to pass this on to their daughters or even sons. If you going to be like that, then notify people because it is not fun to find out as you go. Younger women act like bitches because they are entitled. Older women act like bitches because they have been hurt. I am not trying to be a dick but someone needs to bring it up. If I get hate mail, then be it. Speak to you all soon.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Reunited

Dear Friends,

Recently, I had the pleasure of being with someone that I have not seen in years. It was nice to take a break from my life to be with someone that has been a part of my life and can relate to me. Also, it was a bonus to not only seen this person but also be reminded of how someone could be a potential soulmate. This is going to be a unique entry because this is going to be short and to the point.

I have not seen this woman in less than ten years. She is a beautiful woman to me. Her smile is infectious and her energy was higher than most people I work with. I think the only reason why we have not seen each other is because of how life carries people in different directions. Another thing is that how people grow in a decade. Ten years tend to change people. Being reunited with someone like her made me reevaluate my life and what I want to in the time I got in this life.

Being reunited with someone from your past can be a good thing. It makes you think and sees changes for the better. It also makes you want to become something different. Just like my best friend and I, this is my other best friend. She knows my likes and dislikes. She remembers the keys to what makes me happy. Just like my best friend, this woman is the only other person that loves me unconditionally. Unconditional love is a rare treat in the world these days. I guess I am blessed to have two women in my life that’s not family that loves me like that. I thank them for that and more. There will be more to come but that’s all for now.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Knowing Your Place

Dear Friends,

Recently, I have been having some changes in the people that are my friends and those who I wanted more than friendship from. One of the main reasons why I hate dating is because some women tend to make sure men know their place in their life. Some women don’t do this and want a man to make them happy but others make sure men know their place. This is something I have wanted to write about because it boggles my mind as to how women do this. So this is going to be the blog about knowing your place in life and with women in general.

First and foremost, why do women tell a man to know his place in their lives? Some women have been hurt by men and that’s their way to weed out the users from the sincere ones. That I can understand and relate to only because I have been hurt myself. I can also understand if the woman is too busy to be in a relationship and just want a man for friendship or a shoulder to lean on. That makes perfect sense to me. However, in this world we live in now, women make a man know their place because to some women, they either use men for monetary purposes and sex or they use a man to have kids and leave them out in the cold. Either way, it is not a good way to make a man feel worth something.

Second, if a woman has been hurt and you just want a male friend, then just say so. Some women don’t make that clear at first or worse, they do something to change or ruin the friendship. Some women tend to do this by screwing a male friend. Some men don’t mind this but those men would take advantage of the situation. Others would do their best to be gentlemen and progress the friendship. If a woman really wants something they would make it clear not use the situation.

Third, if you are complete opposites but you remain friends then leave it as that. Don’t lead a man on to thinking you want him and he won’t do the same. People that date tends to skew the line between friendship and lovers. Having differences is a good thing but also can come back to bite you in the ass. Something I learned is that if you meet someone and you seek friendship but want more then let your intentions be known but if the woman is your opposite or worse, then definitely say something before it gets bad. Some women forget to say something and the situation gets worse. I guess it is better to have similar likes than differences.  

Finally, this is my biggest pet peeve with women: being materialistic. I understand that it is hard to find work. I understand that it is hard to not have a place, a car, or even hope for the future. Some women do have all these things and more while being independent. Some women want a man for friendship and more. Some women don’t want a man at all. However, if a man does not have a job then doesn’t assume he is broke. If a man does not have a place, don’t assume he’s homeless. Women that are materialistic think or assume that if they pay for dinner, movies, or even ice cream then the man is trifling. I don’t have a place to live at per se but I do have a job. I can pay my bills and treat someone to dinner, a movie or ice cream. My overall point is that if a woman makes a man know their place, then things will be ok but if they don’t that’s where the issues lie. For now, I will let this go but I also hope people learn something from this. There is more to come.

Eugene Chandler III