Halloween Havoc 2024: The Return To Form

Dear Readers,

 

    So, I have finally decided to write blogs again because I got too many thoughts going on. So, I will bring up the missing entries that I have since 2016. This entry is going to be a summary of what’s coming up and also what’s going to be discussed. First of all, I have moved from Michigan to Ohio. As a Michigander, being in Ohio isn’t permanent. I will discuss later what led to being in Ohio. Right now, I will say that before I go there, I have to go through 2016 to 2019.

 

    My last entry was around my birthday in 2016. Eight years has passed and I am surprised that I have had so many changes in my life. Not only I have gone through a lot but also made some decisions that I am still paying for it. Now only I have changed in eight years but the country and the world have changed. So it is going to be a challenge to blog about these changes but also I will be attempting to become another digital media personality. Also I will be doing vlogs of other things. This is still my first place for venting my feelings. Until next time, speak to you all soon.

 

 

 

Eugene Chandler III

Birthday Blowout 2016: Memories of My Father

Dear Friends,


If you haven't seen my post on Facebook , today would have been my father's 63rd birthday. He passed away in 2014 just after his 61st birthday. I will speak about his death and more next month. This blog entry is about his life and the few times, we bonded as father and son. This is going to be hard for me to write this because I don't normally speak about the dead. I was taught to remember the dead for what they did while living and also to not let your memory of them be tarnished.

My first memory of my father was when we all went to church. My father and stepmother was heavily into the church. I remember how my mom would brag about how he looked in a suit. My father was a sharp dressed man. My father use to tell me that real men wore suits and conducted themselves in a respectful manor. He was true about that. My grandfather use to tell me that when looking at me, he sees my father. My father did conduct himself in a respectful manor. Even though he was personable he was a joy to watch in church and also at home.

When I was 13, I spend my last summer with him. The reason why this was my last summer was because I stopped going over to his house even though he wanted to see me throughout my teens. This was a very interesting summer because I was going to be in high school and be 14 that year. My father worked but he was always home at a certain time. Most of the time, he would be in a joking mood. Plus this was the start of my father and stepmother playing cards and their epic fussing over who's cheating. I was also the desinated oldest. Even though I had an older half brother, I was the oldest. My father told me at a young age that I have to be big brother to my stepsister and stepbrother. This was the summer I was becoming a teen but also being able to see what he was trying to show me.

When I saw my father four years ago, he was a different man. He got sick while going to our family reunion and ended up losing his foot. That's how I found out he was type 2 diabetic. My younger stepbrother showed me his meds and seeing him without his foot was life changing. My father was still happy to see me. I did spend as much time as possible with him even though I was working at the time. One of my best memories of him was Thanksgiving 2012. I just got off working the Thanksgiving game for the Detroit Lions. I came back to my father's apartment to see him locked out of his apartment. My stepmother went to her family to eat and my younger stepbrother was gone somewhere. For the first time since I was a kid, we talked. I remember this because that was the day I told my father I loved him. Plus this was the last time I was able to speak to him about his grandson.

Losing a parent is harder to deal with. Your parents are suppose to live long enough to become grandparents and even great grandparents. Even though my younger stepsister and my half brother had kids, I was suppose to have another Eugene to carry on the name. He would have celebrated his birthday with some fun. It is nice to say that my father's birthday always comes before my own. Also my stepmother's birthday is in between our birthdays. So I am going to celebrate my father's birthday by getting a Whopper at Burger King and smile. Happy Birthday Eugene Jr.




Your Friend,


Eugene

Birthday Blowout 2016: Inspiration From A Friend

Dear Friends,


I want to thank a friend for the inspiration for this entry. Sometimes friends give you good ideals without realizing it. She recently showed me that some people don't or won't change. Some people like to hold grudges or hold on to things said. Some people tend to use these things to come up with bullshit reasons to distance themselves from the world. She also showed me that people assume because you aren't home that coming back home would help but some people leave home to see the world and more. Sometimes being elsewhere makes you happier than being home miserable.

First of all, doing these blogs are more for people to see me as human. I might have made mistakes in my life but I am human and flawed. People kill me saying that they are perfect. Perfection isn't achieved so easily. Most people need to see that being perfect isn't a fix all. I am not perfect but I write these blogs to show that my life is munday most days but other days I have excitement.

Second of all, most people say writing is a tedious thing. I find that writing is a lost form these days. Most of us tend to send a quick tweet or post something in short sentences. I miss when people would write long letters and also take their time to think about what to write and how to say it. I learned some time ago that people don't read books like they use to. Now you can read things digitally. Same goes with newspapers. A news reporter these days have to not only write an article but tweet about it and also do a video about the story. So when someone who wrote a book says writing is tedious should honest see how things are now. I love to write when I have a chance to because it allows me to think about my words and also how my words will show my thoughts.

Finally, I have admitted many times in my blogs that I suffer from depression. Doing this makes me feel some relief because I don't have to internalize things. Depression is an illness and most people deal with it differently. Some listen to music, some do artisitc things but I tend to write or be vocal. Even though the depression isn't going away but for a short period of time, it does makes things look brighter. I live day to day but when I do these entries, I show my daily events as it is and learn from it.




Your Friend,


Eugene

Birthday Blowout 2016: Getting Older with Pain

Dear Friends,


Well it has been a busy couple of days. First of all, I have been getting help with my busted right knee. I found out back in April that my right knee is busted. Cracked kneecap, a small tear in my knee and fluid in my knee. So like my mother and my father, I have bursitis or arthritis in my knee. Basically, I cannot try to move like a young chicken anymore. The reason why I am speak of this is because with my brithday coming up in a couple of weeks, I am getting older. I am not 40 yet but I am finally understanding why others in the past say to me that I need to be in better shape. I find all this funny because I had a feeling this was going to happen 10 years ago. It is one thing to work hard and live life but now I see it is time to slow down.

As I was sitting in the doctor's office, I was reading up on what I have. However, I came in with pain and discomfort. Doing something as simple as riding a bicycle would damn near be as painful as standing on a bad leg for hours. Before coming to this doctor, another doctor was saying I am too young for a knee replacement and even if I lose weight, this is permanate. Even though I was not an athlete this is how most athletes retire. I find myself waking up with pain and going to bed at night numbing the pain. Getting older is a suppose to be a slow process but in my case this sped up things.

To some people, this rambling about being older might not make sense but I am seeing that my body isn't getting younger and the things I use to do hurt now. People would tell me that most pains and aches can be solved with an asprin or motrin but sometimes you need something stronger. The only good thing about being in pain is the distraction from being depressed. Pain not only takes over but it makes you see things differently.

Most people think it is noble to work with pain but I am seeing that once you hurt moreso than normal, you stop moving and rest to ease up the pain. I might be able to go to the store or walk but it is hard to do it without grimacing or wincing in pain. I hope that when people see me now, they know I am not lazy but trying to make things worse. I know when I am 55 or 60 this will be worse but for now, I take things day to day.




Your Friend,

Eugene

Birthday Blowout 2016: New Sunrises and Sunsets in My Life

Dear Friends,


Today is August 3rd. Only 17 days until I am 38. I know this is begining to sound tedious to say what today is and countdown mt birthday. However, next month it will get wilder and more exciting. Plus I am trying to figure out how to fill in the blanks in between the holes of my entries. Plus trying to write something relevant as opposed to ramblings and nonsense. I am noticing that it is easier to be open than hide a secret. Besides, I only look forward to one day at a time. I am reminded that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

As I keep counting down the days until my birthday, I am reminded that my birthday in a sense means fall is coming. That also means that change is coming. These days, I might not welcome change but I adapt to change. These last three years since my absence from blogging is a lot like when a famous band take a break but come together again to make good music. The only difference is that my abesence was triggered by a series of events I believed I talked about prior to my final entry of 2013. This time around, I won't let something trigger my lack of entries. To be honest, I fight just to see tomorrow.

As this day ends, I value a good sunset as well as a good sunrise. Unlike being in Detroit along the riverfront where the sunrise and sunsets were amazing, being in Monroe and seeing the sunrise and sets is almost as good. These days especially now, I value seeing a sunrise and also a sunset. That's my life basically, seeing the sunrise and going through the motions and fighting to see the sunset. I shouldn't have to battle myself or try to force myself to do half of what I do in a day. For now, I am just happy to see another day end and see a new day rises. Thank you for reading this entry.




Your buddy,


Eugene Chandler

Birthday Blowout 2016: Of Things To Come

Dear Friends,


Today is August 2nd. It is now 18 days away from my 38th birthday. After yesterday's blog, I will elaborate on my absence on here. I will go into details in the series I will call The Lost Blogs. I think I was writing blogs during my absence but either they were deleted or half finished. Basically, The Lost Blogs will be short two part entries that will fill in the blanks. Since I do actually have people that read my ramblings and life stories, it will be a treat to share things again. I honestly don't have a lot to hide.

My life as it is now is basically a day to day series of tasks and reptition. As much as I hate repition, I am use to constanly repeating myself. It is hard most days to just something once and move on. I feel like a broken record. I miss the excitement of working in Detroit during baseball and football seasons. These days, I fight depression to get out of bed. If I am not fighting depression, I have a bad right knee that is really aggrivating my life. I am falling apart. No more being able to walk or run like I use to. Now I feel like my knee was hit by a baseball bat and shocked by a live wire. Pain and deperession doesn't mix.


The only good thing about this sabbatical is that I will try not to be a broken record. I will try to have more random thoughts and not bitch and moan about things. Since 2013, I have been on a different path and also trying to grow older and wiser. Also I have to try to live life because the mundane of things now is driving me bonkers. I can't do a lot of things I like anymore because of my lack of income. I still reminisce about the fun I had working in Detroit. However, I am fighting to even go back to Detroit and visit people. I fight a daily struggle to be comfortable outsid of my zone. Thank you for reading my life in words.





Your Friend,


Eugene Chandler III

Birthday Blowout 2016: Back To Basics

Dear Friends,


You are probably wondering where the hell I have been. I haven't blogged since July 2013. Well before I go there, let me say that it is going to be a battle to start blogging again. This is my personal blog. I figured to keep this going. I hope to get back into the swing of things. Basically, as long as I keep my depression at bay and I can sit and think of something current to say, I am coming back to blogging. Hopefully, I can move forward but also fill in the gaps from July 2013 to July 2016.

Today is August 1st. That means in 19 days it will be my 38th birthday. I am two years removed from being 40. My god, it was yesterday I was bitching and moaning about being 30. Well I guess time does fly but the past does have a habit of reminding you of the mistakes you made. Like I said, in 19 days it will be my birthday. I haven't decided to celebrate it or keep it private. Someone told me that I need to live life because as I approach 40, it is not going to be pretty. So I will try to be more alive. Before I do, I have to get back to my writing form.

Basically, this is just the beginning of something new with something I have done since 2009. I need to get some things off my chest plus it is time to share some of my most difficult times in my life. A lot has changed since my last blog. I am going to make an attempt to fill in the holes because I missed out on celebrating two of my anniversaries but I will fill that in as well. For now, I am back and ready to share. Thank you for reading.




Sincerely Yours,


Eugene Chandler