Summer Showdown: Crazy Women and Me

Dear Friends,

Recently, I had someone that wanted to end our friendship. This was because we had plans but we did not go out together. Normally, I would cancel plans if I had something else planned or if I had something come up. The thing about it is that I did call and also try to explain myself but this person was not interested in my side of the story. To be honest with you all, I didn’t want to see this person at all. This person is the basis of some of my recent blogs. I do give chances to people like they do for me. However, this was not a chance I wanted to take. I guess because this person is the type of women I try not to attract. I don’t know where this blog will go but just to make this clear, this is going to be a blog about crazy women and why I attract them.

So this girl, whose name is Karlly basically, is the reason why I think I need to stop attracting women that are fucking crazy. This is a trend that I have been noticing since 2006. Karlly is the recent person that is a few crayons short of a box. I mean she is a great person from the outside but as soon as she talks or you observe her, she’s loonier than Daffy Duck on a good day. She was the basis for many recent blogs. She dumps me while I am out of town. She then dates someone that basically didn’t like her brand of bullshit and then she wants me to come to clean up the mess. Then when I don’t show up she wants to end things and calls me a bum. I let it go and I moved on.

Karlly is recent person that has shown her true colors. My first loony tune chick was this girl I dated back in 1997. I have told the story of how I went to see this girl in Indiana and we were clicking. As soon as I left, she sent a letter that God told her to end things with me. This girl used God as an excuse to dump me. She was the first but not the last. Another example of this would be of the little girl I was dating that wanted to move to Texas. I got a letter that she moved to Arizona with some hippie and was pregnant with triplets.

This is only a snippet of the shit I went through while dating. I attract crazy chicks. Most of the real relationships I was in were with women that were good but either changed from their own issues or changed because I did not give them what they craved. Or in some cases, I did not bend to their commands. I don’t want to attract crazy chicks but I want to attract women that are going to keep me sane and also give me opportunities to grow and be a better man. I hope I find that woman ASAP. I can’t wait for her forever.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Desires

Dear Friends,

This is the last blog of the month of June. Usually, I am so busy to blog that I don’t blog again until close to my birthday. As this is the end of the month and I have been churning out blogs for this month, I want to end this month with something good. I draw my source of blogs from stories or events I have witnessed in my years of living. This is going to interesting because what I am going to talk about is something I want people to think about. Today’s blog is going to be about desires. I hope this will give you something to think about.

Now, we all desire something. We want wealth, power, control, or something more. We as humans desire something. Desire is something that borders some of the deadly sins in the bible. To desire something means you have to lust for it. You also have to commit adultery for a desire. You also could be killed for a desire. To be honest with you, desires also could be good for people. It gives you motivation, and makes you goal driven.

My main reason for writing about this is because of what I want to do for the rest of this year and also beyond. I desire to be better in my life. I want to do better. I have goals and I have plans. My plans are not something I want to change or alter. I am fixated on achieving things to gain something. Having desire is a good thing for me but I know most people see a desire as a weakness or something bad.

I could not talk about desires without speaking about the one main negative aspect of desires which are sexual desires. We all have sexual desires. Regardless if you’re gay or straight, you think about having sex with someone you can’t have sex with or someone out of your league. We fantasize about celebrities, models, singers, and actors. It is nothing wrong with that but there is a fine line between desires, lusting, and reality. Keep that in mind.

I hope I gave you something to think about. I will be back to blogging after the 4^th of July. Time to rest and prepare for work and what I need to do to live in this world. At least my desires are clean because if you really know me, not all my desires are clean and wholesome. See you all soon.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Outdoors Not For Every Kid

Dear Friends,

My mother and I were talking the other day about how kids are now and oppose to how I was as a kid. Actually, I was referring to how I was with respect to how I was not an outdoor person. Most kids now are either ten times worse that I was or would never use something as simple as a yo-yo or a kite. My mother is old school and use to having kids go outside. I was brought up into the technological world. Being outside is something I don’t do unless I have to. I admit that I am a homebody at times but most of the time, I am out doing something inside somewhere else. I am going to explain why I don’t do outside and also why I think parents need to not encourage kids to play outside as much.

My reasoning for not being an outdoor person is simple. I lived in Detroit, MI for most of my life. I would not want to be a kid in this world because you can catch a bullet while playing and you can get in more trouble outside than inside. I have never liked being outside because I tend to want to be somewhere with walls. Most of the places I have lived in Metro Detroit are not for kids. I don’t do bugs. I hate being hot. I hate sweating. I might work outside but I don’t have to be outside all day. I don’t like to be darker than I am now.

My mother had a good point about what if I was in the country. I have lived in Monroe for two years. I have been on the farm and I have done farm work. I am not a farmer at heart. I don’t like smelling shit or being in mud and dirt. I don’t have an issue for those people that are country at heart, I am not. I am an indoor person. Too many things outside can hurt and harm a person. Especially when you had sinus issues like I did for years. I lost my sinus issues when I moved to Flint and kept them away even when I moved back to Detroit and later in Monroe.

Being outside is not a good thing for some kids. Like I said, I had allergies and sinus issues for years. Why would you send a kid outside if they cannot breathe or see? I still say some parents would send kids outside because they don’t want to see them inside. My mother use to say, it is a nice day but I would see that I don’t have a lot of time before my sinuses close up and I can’t breathe. Some kids had asthma or worse. Parents love to send a child out in the world but don’t think if they might die outside from lack of oxygen.

I am not trying to start anything but from my personal experiences; I don’t think some parents think about their kids. I am also using my experience to show that it is okay to be inside. Some kids are not made for being outdoor kids. Some kids are comfortable being indoors. Just keep all that in mind.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Childhood in Detroit Back In The Day

Dear Friends,

I rarely talk about my childhood. To me, my childhood was short and sweet. My childhood ended in 1986. It ended the day that I saw the world as it was not how it is suppose to be. I was eight years old and I saw a world of broken promises and bullshit. My childhood was not for the faint of heart. I was blessed with not seeing people getting shot or getting shot at. I was blessed with no one kidnapping me. However, I did see kids around me joining gangs, getting arrested, and also doing grown things. Unlike how it is today, during the 1980’s and 1990’s, kids in Detroit were shown things that they were not ready for. I am about to share some incidents before I turned 13. These are incidents made me who I am now.

When I was 12, I was in school when I had my first and only fight with anyone. I have never fought anyone and I learned later that I never would fight again. I was in my science class. I was trying to listen to my teach talk about cells and he had to walk out the class for something. While the teacher was gone, the class was unruly. I was reading my book about greek mythology when this kid in my class decided to bother me. He goes into this tirade about my clothes and my family. I ignored him at first. Then he speaks about my next door neighbors being mutts and the girl that had a crush on me was a whore. I put my book down and I KO this kid that was bigger than me. However, as this kid goes down, his friend slaps the shit out of me. So one kid is KOed and I got slapped. The teacher comes in as we both sat down. That slapped woke me up and I decided not to fight again. What’s tragic and sad was that those kids were killed two weeks later in a gang fight. Both those kids were in a gang and they could have got their gang to beat my ass but I earned their respect. I wept for them but I knew that those kids wanted me to move on.

I saw my first dead and only dead body when I was 10. If you ever saw the movie, Menace II Society, you would remember what I speak of. I was coming home from school when some friends told me about this guy that was shot in an abandon building. I didn’t want to go but I was curious. As we walked to the house, we saw the cops circling the block. I knew the cops were in the area because of this dead body. I kept my cool while my friends were acting scared. When we go to the house, we saw that the house was empty. My friends go through the front door and I go to the back. The body was in the garage. As I looked at the body, I smelled shit and piss. There were maggots coming out of his mouth and his skin was loosing color. When my friends came to the garage, they puked. I wanted to puke but I just cried. I tell my friends that we need to leave. As we leave, we see the cops. We walk away separately. Seeing death made me want to live life.

I will only share those stories because some of the others were too graphic or stuff I don’t want to remember again. I live with a lot of shit in my past. Some things are so bad that I will take the grave. When I turned 13, my life changed. From the ages of 8 to 12, I had experience things that I wish I could forget. With that said, I am not perfect or normal. I have flaws. And those flaws make me who I am today. Thank you for reading and understanding.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Happy Home Revisitied

Dear Friends,

I have a rule about relationships called happy home. Happy home is basically when two people are in a committed relationship or married. I have had friends tell me their respective mates are being ignorant to their needs or basically acting like an asshole. I am single and would love to be with someone and do anything for them. I hate hearing when people don’t want to do for their mates. If kids are involved, that upsets me even more. I guess because I did not have a real family structure and I had a single mother raise me, I want to have a family more. However, there are some ungrateful motherfuckers in this world that take for granted their vows and also their mates. This is a blog about these ungrateful assholes and some of the things I have heard or have seen.

Part of the marriage vows involves in sickness or in health. So why would a husband ignore that his wife is falling apart? If my wife has even the flu, my ass would make sure she gets well and help run the household. Why would you ignore your wife’s health? My friend is getting dental work done and asked her husband to take her and pick her up from the dentist. His lazy ass said no and that she needs to get a ride. Really? I find that sickening because I would not ignore my wife’s needs and her health.

I have a friend that is about to give birth to her third kid but with a different man. He has not been around to know what he’s having or if the baby is well. My friend spends her nights crying and questioning herself. I am not going to be judgmental because I am in a baby drama. However, I question his motives and also where he’s at when he’s not with her. This is a perfect situation for TV daytime shows like Maury. However, I question the fact that men who want kids are the ones that always run from their duties. Some people think I am a dead beat but how can I be a dead beat if my son lives hundreds of miles from me in a place that is not suitable for minorities.

My favorite story about this is the story about people I known for years that broke the sacrament of marriage. When I heard this, I did not believe it but seeing it in person made me question marriage. I found out that both my friends were screwing around but with people of the same sex. If you ever saw the R Kelly – Trapped In The Closet videos, you will know what I am referring to. I found this out by accident. I was doing them a favor by watching their kids. I was returning the kids to their parents when we walked in on a lesbian sex session in the living room. The kids didn’t see anything but I saw a lot. Usually, it would be a man’s wet dream to see two women getting it on before the man comes in. However, seeing my friend and a younger woman making out made me feel awkward. As they got dressed, the kids are yelling for me to come to the garage. As I go to through the garage, I smell something awful. The kids are standing in the garage and I see my friend’s husband and an older man butt ass naked. The kids were in shock. I wanted to puke. I took the kids to their grand parents house while my friend and her husband get their shit together. When I got back to the house, they sat me down and explain their marriage was a sham. I could go into details but the point of this story was made. Vows were broken.

I wanted to do this blog because I empathize with people when it comes to broken vows and broken trust. I hate seeing someone get hurt. I don’t like that heterosexual couples can marry but same sex couples cannot. I empathize with gay and lesbian couples that can’t be married but I have to witness straight couples be married multiple times. This was not a blog for same sex marriages. However, I will end this blog like this: Marriage is a blessing not something people can do like changing socks. Once you are married, you are married. Divorce is a cop out to people that wanted to be single. Unless there is abuse or other issues, marriages can be worked out.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Triggers of Depression

Dear Friends,

I have many stories. Some are meant to inspire. Some are sad to hear. A lot of my stories are not for the faint of heart. With that said, I never told the story of the original trigger of my depression. One thing I learned in psychology is that everything in life starts with a trigger or something traumatic. So with that said, let me finally explain the reasons why I have been depressed.

Here’s the story of my trigger for being depressed:

September 5^th, 1996 was the date I started at University of Detroit Mercy. I was a freshman and was happy to be free from my mother and also happy to begin my journey into adulthood. I decided to live on campus even though I was a quarter mile from my house. I also decided to have a room alone. I was having fun and being alone. I was being a college student. October 7^th, 1996 was the first date I triggered being depressed. I was alone in my room. My TV was low and I was studying. As I was studying for my English comp test, I looked around and realized that I was alone. I also realized that I was sitting in the dark with nothing but the TV light and also a small lamp next to my study area. As I walked into the darkness, I started to cry. I never understood why I was crying but I know it was because I was alone. If you know me, you know that’s my biggest fear.

The next day, I found myself in the fetal position weeping because I was alone and was not having fun like I originally was having. I also was not myself for a month because I not only ate a lot more but I also was acting erratic. A friend of mines helped me diagnose that I was depressed and I needed help. From 1996 to 1997, I was getting counseling and also getting help. I was good from 1997 to 2003, which was when my depression came back. That story has been told.

I never told this story because some people did not believe me or even though I was depressed. However, in these recent blogs, you see the difference in when I am depressed and when I am not as depressed. So with all that said, I think people would see me differently. I also hope people will read these blogs because I don’t want to leave this world and not have someone knowing my life. So have fun living because life is a gift.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Fireworks

Dear Friends,

One of my only guilty pleasures in life are seeing or doing fireworks. I am a pyromaniac at heart and love lighting and seeing fireworks go off. I wish that I could keep this guilty pleasure but due to a personal issue, I had to give this up. As a kid, seeing fireworks go off or going to the annual fireworks show in Detroit was a blessing and joy for me. Like I said, in 2008 that all changed. This is the blog that will explain why it changed and also why I will never enjoy fireworks.

Here’s the story of why things change for me about fireworks and also why I can’t see them anymore:

In 2008, I was at the time dating my best friend. Now usually, I would not have someone with me while watching the fireworks in Detroit. This was a special year because I was dating someone that I wanted to date for years. So we are waiting for the fireworks to start and we talk about marriage. As the subject was gaining some interest, my friend asks me what I would say to her if I proposed. I speak from the heart. She was so moved that I decided to actually propose. She said yes. I was shocked.

Now what changed was the significance of her going to be my wife but also the events that occurred after the fact. I won’t go into details but we both know what happened. That also let me to AF and also the shit that happened with her. In 2009, I came to the decision after watching the fireworks and crying. The fireworks are not something I want to see anymore without crying. With that said, I could do fireworks but seeing professional fireworks makes me cry.

Now even though I speak to my best friend still, going to the fireworks or even going to certain places in Detroit makes me sad. I am trying to fight my depression. I guess I could let it go but I cannot because of the other shit that occurred. Now that I shared that, I want to say that I am happy to get that off my chest and also out in the open. That’s all for now, but there is more to come in the madness of my life.

Eugene Chandler III

Summer Showdown: Random Thoughts for June

Dear Friends,

First and foremost, let me apologize for the lack of updates. During the summer, my days are filled with stress and bliss from work. Usually around June and July, I get hectic and busy. I am going to try to make up for lost time and also bring some fresh input into my life and also new aspects. With that said, I am going to let this be a blog about random thoughts for the current lapse of time that I have not been blogging. I know I do a lot of random thoughts but then again, it is better than nothing.

During my hiatus, I have been doing a lot of picture taking. Mostly of places near work, downtown, and also some interesting buildings throughout the city. I find picture taking is sort of like therapy. I see that my city is dying. I don’t have many memories in the city. Buildings are decrepit and falling apart. No more history but empty land and burned down shells. That’s sad to say when there are places in the U.S. that have history and buildings that live on forever.

The other day, I was on the bus going to work. I notice these girls talking about giving head to their boyfriends. As I listened, I was appalled to hear women speak like that. I guess because I am use to women talking about women issues but not deep throat. What made me more sickened is that these women were loud about deep throat. I find that people younger than me are more brazen and really have not much class with things like that. I guess next time; I will have my mp3 player on and up.

Something I noticed in the last five years is that kids are drawn to me. I think since my son was brought into the world, I have some kind of draw to kids. I find it funny because even at work, kids do come to me. I wish I could say I like this but the pain of not seeing my son makes this uneasy for me. I am not bitching about this but I hope that once I do see my son, I could appreciate this weird thing.

Finally, I am a kid at heart but not a true kid at heart. I don’t do amusement parks. I have never gone to Cedar Point or King’s Island or even Boblo Island back in the day. My mother was not into taking to these places and I never really got the appeal of those places. I have a kid and I am an uncle. I don’t think I could take any kid to a place like that. I might change my mind once I let go of my lack of appeal.

I do have more to come. I will try to write more. I also want to make sure that people see that I am normal but I also have faults. I am human and I am not perfect. Thank you all for reading and I will speak to you all soon.

Eugene Chandler III