Dear Friends,
Recently, I have been dealing with my mother and her addictions. Now, if you have known me for a long time, this was a sore subject. I am recently talking about it because she’s finally getting help for it. My mother is an alcoholic and former drug addict. Thank god, I am not that. I have learned to never be addicted to anything like that. My mother has been living with my girlfriend and I since the beginning of the year. My mother and I have had our differences but I love her. Her sins and addictions made me a better person because she needed me. My mother raised me to be able to live in this world without help. Her addictions are based on many things. Things I can only speculate on. My mother has been doing drugs since I was young but the drinking was recent.
So what does a son do to help a mother who’s going through this? I don’t know but it is hard because of some people in my life that does not want to help me. This is why I tend to things alone. I feel that if someone is in your life and they want to be in your life they need to help out. I keep forgetting that people are selfish these days. I know how to deal with my mom as a former drug user but not as an alcoholic. As I try to live life, I have to be the son to a mother that needs me.
My mother has been going to meetings but I have not got help to deal with this. That will change real soon. I guess not only it is time to get help to help my mother but to be around people that can relate to me. I use to say people could not deal with what I deal with but there are people that can deal with what I deal with. It is time to not only seek help for myself but also seek out people who live with an addict and how they cope with it. I guess for now, it is time to come out of the darkness and into the light.
Eugene Chandler III
Saturday, February 20, 2010
2010: Am I A Father? Part II
Dear Friends,
Next month, my son is going to be three years old. Now I don’t talk about my son because it causes me great sadness. Not because he’s my son but the stress of dealing with it. I decided recently rather to be upset at my son’s mother to try to play nice. I decided to do that because my son does not deserve that from me. Now I am trying to also talk more about him and hope to see him. That’s only because as I get older, I find myself changing to be a better man. I want my son to be a better man than I am. So like I asked in my last blog: Am I a father? To be honest with you, I cannot say yes. I know my ex is a great mother.
I know I will not get father of the year. Just like my father, I am moving on with my life and also getting my life in order. Most people think it is easy being a parent. It is not. Not in this world we live in. Especially to those who create a kid but don’t want him at all. I am trying to stop that mentality in me. My son is going to hate me because I was not there and also because the lack of time I spent with him. Someone asked me if my son calls someone else daddy. To be honest with you, I don’t know. I’m not going to say I don’t care but I know that he will not call me daddy.
So as this month come to a close soon, there is a lack of responsibility to all those African American men who get a woman pregnant but don’t want the kid. Regardless if the woman is the same race or different, it is up to that man to take responsibility of that child. With that said, that’s where my journey starts and hopefully, I can make that something that will bring me happiness.
Eugene Chandler III
Next month, my son is going to be three years old. Now I don’t talk about my son because it causes me great sadness. Not because he’s my son but the stress of dealing with it. I decided recently rather to be upset at my son’s mother to try to play nice. I decided to do that because my son does not deserve that from me. Now I am trying to also talk more about him and hope to see him. That’s only because as I get older, I find myself changing to be a better man. I want my son to be a better man than I am. So like I asked in my last blog: Am I a father? To be honest with you, I cannot say yes. I know my ex is a great mother.
I know I will not get father of the year. Just like my father, I am moving on with my life and also getting my life in order. Most people think it is easy being a parent. It is not. Not in this world we live in. Especially to those who create a kid but don’t want him at all. I am trying to stop that mentality in me. My son is going to hate me because I was not there and also because the lack of time I spent with him. Someone asked me if my son calls someone else daddy. To be honest with you, I don’t know. I’m not going to say I don’t care but I know that he will not call me daddy.
So as this month come to a close soon, there is a lack of responsibility to all those African American men who get a woman pregnant but don’t want the kid. Regardless if the woman is the same race or different, it is up to that man to take responsibility of that child. With that said, that’s where my journey starts and hopefully, I can make that something that will bring me happiness.
Eugene Chandler III
African American History 2010: Cheating Black Men
Dear Friends,
Well after this week, this has been a week of scandal and humiliation. This week has also showed us how some people can try to change and others are basically punks. Locally, a man name Sam Riddle got off scot free in one case but catching hell in another one. If you don’t know about Sam Riddle, Google him and you will see what’s up with him. Another man that’s been in the news locally is former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. It’s a shame he cannot pay all us Detroiters and people who work in Detroit back for basically lying about fucking his assistant. He owes the city of Detroit $1 million dollars. He is claiming broke. I am broke but I still get calls from bill collectors. He’s bitching because he cannot pay the city back. He’s lying his ass off.
Now we get to the main event: Tiger Woods. He gets caught cheating. He has over 12 women he was fucking at the time. He’s also just as big as Michael Jordan. So do I care if he apologizes and admits his mistakes? No because Tiger is a punk. Why would I call him a punk? Unlike Kwame who had his wife there and made it sincere, Tiger was alone. His mom was there but family will forgive you regardless. He’s a punk. I never liked him because he renounced his heritage. He’s mixed, African American and Asian. He upset me because he had the nerve to get hard and try to go off on the press. All I have to say about him is play golf and stop fucking around. He married a sexy woman but he had to get off while on the road. So I don’t want your apology Tiger but I want you to play golf and that it. I don’t like Golf. I feel he’s reign as king of golf is over.
So what do these three men have in common? Well they cheated on their wives, and also got caught in the public. They are also black men, except for Tiger. My advice to all you is if you going to cheat, don’t get caught. Also if you are famous, don’t cheat.
Eugene Chandler III
Well after this week, this has been a week of scandal and humiliation. This week has also showed us how some people can try to change and others are basically punks. Locally, a man name Sam Riddle got off scot free in one case but catching hell in another one. If you don’t know about Sam Riddle, Google him and you will see what’s up with him. Another man that’s been in the news locally is former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. It’s a shame he cannot pay all us Detroiters and people who work in Detroit back for basically lying about fucking his assistant. He owes the city of Detroit $1 million dollars. He is claiming broke. I am broke but I still get calls from bill collectors. He’s bitching because he cannot pay the city back. He’s lying his ass off.
Now we get to the main event: Tiger Woods. He gets caught cheating. He has over 12 women he was fucking at the time. He’s also just as big as Michael Jordan. So do I care if he apologizes and admits his mistakes? No because Tiger is a punk. Why would I call him a punk? Unlike Kwame who had his wife there and made it sincere, Tiger was alone. His mom was there but family will forgive you regardless. He’s a punk. I never liked him because he renounced his heritage. He’s mixed, African American and Asian. He upset me because he had the nerve to get hard and try to go off on the press. All I have to say about him is play golf and stop fucking around. He married a sexy woman but he had to get off while on the road. So I don’t want your apology Tiger but I want you to play golf and that it. I don’t like Golf. I feel he’s reign as king of golf is over.
So what do these three men have in common? Well they cheated on their wives, and also got caught in the public. They are also black men, except for Tiger. My advice to all you is if you going to cheat, don’t get caught. Also if you are famous, don’t cheat.
Eugene Chandler III
Monday, February 15, 2010
2010: Am I A Father Part 1
Dear Friends,
If you know me, you know that I have a son. Now, am I a father? No because my son does not know who I am. Now, my girlfriend has friends that have kids. These kids know me as Gene for the exception of a few. Now after my son was born, my feelings towards kids were not good. Any kid around me knew not to bother me. Next month, my son will be three years old. In three years, my opinion of kids has changed a bit but when it comes to my son, as much as I want to see him and know him, I feel like there is no hope for that. Not because of his mother but more so because I’m not ready. Being a parent means you lose a bit of freedom that you had while being without child.
As I continue to live life and work on myself, this is the hardest thing I had to deal with. Too many emotions are involved. I want to see my son, and play with him. In this world, it is hard to be a parent without dealing with the issues involved with it. Unless you are married, it becomes a struggle to deal with the person you use to date and ended up having sex with and add in this child. Add to that, age differences. My best friend rode my ass to see my son. I love her for doing that but like I explain to her, it goes both ways. As I end this entry, I hope that this year would be the year I can see my son and be able to bond with him.
Eugene Chandler III
If you know me, you know that I have a son. Now, am I a father? No because my son does not know who I am. Now, my girlfriend has friends that have kids. These kids know me as Gene for the exception of a few. Now after my son was born, my feelings towards kids were not good. Any kid around me knew not to bother me. Next month, my son will be three years old. In three years, my opinion of kids has changed a bit but when it comes to my son, as much as I want to see him and know him, I feel like there is no hope for that. Not because of his mother but more so because I’m not ready. Being a parent means you lose a bit of freedom that you had while being without child.
As I continue to live life and work on myself, this is the hardest thing I had to deal with. Too many emotions are involved. I want to see my son, and play with him. In this world, it is hard to be a parent without dealing with the issues involved with it. Unless you are married, it becomes a struggle to deal with the person you use to date and ended up having sex with and add in this child. Add to that, age differences. My best friend rode my ass to see my son. I love her for doing that but like I explain to her, it goes both ways. As I end this entry, I hope that this year would be the year I can see my son and be able to bond with him.
Eugene Chandler III
2010: Jealousy
Dear Friends,
Recently, I had a heated discussion with someone because they do not like me. This woman, who is basically a prima bitch, had the nerve to judge my life. Unless you are God or Jesus, humans cannot past final judgment on a person. Now she was closed minded because of some of the things I told her friend. By the way, that’s what made this so heated. I was talking to her friend but she had to be nosy and jealous that her friend was talking to me instead of her. This bitch has gone as far as play games with me to make it seem like she wanted to be my friend. As you know, I don’t play games unless it is a board game or a video game.
This woman made me realize how a person can be so jealous over another. This bitch was jealous because I was friends with her friend. This trick had to go in her friend’s account just to fuck with me. This woman is bitter because her friend is trying to be with people that are not back stabbers. I will end this entry with a question: Would you be so jealous if a friend is talking to someone else?
Eugene Chandler III
Recently, I had a heated discussion with someone because they do not like me. This woman, who is basically a prima bitch, had the nerve to judge my life. Unless you are God or Jesus, humans cannot past final judgment on a person. Now she was closed minded because of some of the things I told her friend. By the way, that’s what made this so heated. I was talking to her friend but she had to be nosy and jealous that her friend was talking to me instead of her. This bitch has gone as far as play games with me to make it seem like she wanted to be my friend. As you know, I don’t play games unless it is a board game or a video game.
This woman made me realize how a person can be so jealous over another. This bitch was jealous because I was friends with her friend. This trick had to go in her friend’s account just to fuck with me. This woman is bitter because her friend is trying to be with people that are not back stabbers. I will end this entry with a question: Would you be so jealous if a friend is talking to someone else?
Eugene Chandler III
2010: Minorities
Dear Friends,
As we embark into this month and as I embark into learning about what other minorities contributed, I am learning that people are unappreciative to these people. I have been watching the CNN’s special called Black in America and Latino in America. I attend a community college that has less than 1% minorities. Most of the minorities are coming from Toledo or points close to Detroit. According to a lot of studies, African Americas and Latino Americas will be the predominate minorities. There is an African American president and a Latino American Supreme Court justice. I find this funny because the lack of another minority: GLBT community. I bring this up because being African American is hard in this country. Being African America and a woman is harder. However, being African America, female and lesbian is biggest of hardships. I believe all races, sexes, and lifestyles should be equal. In Detroit, there is an openly gay male who is the president of city council.
I feel that we generalize things to make it simpler for others. We also feel hating someone or something easier than embracing it. One of my biggest observations is how can African Americans still a minority. I live in Detroit on and off for 30 years. From studies and other information, African Americans are dying left and right. Latinos does not kill another over trivial things like shoes or glasses. I feel like a minority regardless where I am at. As I learn more, I plan on educating others that unlike other African Americans who fit into a stereotypes.
Eugene Chandler III
As we embark into this month and as I embark into learning about what other minorities contributed, I am learning that people are unappreciative to these people. I have been watching the CNN’s special called Black in America and Latino in America. I attend a community college that has less than 1% minorities. Most of the minorities are coming from Toledo or points close to Detroit. According to a lot of studies, African Americas and Latino Americas will be the predominate minorities. There is an African American president and a Latino American Supreme Court justice. I find this funny because the lack of another minority: GLBT community. I bring this up because being African American is hard in this country. Being African America and a woman is harder. However, being African America, female and lesbian is biggest of hardships. I believe all races, sexes, and lifestyles should be equal. In Detroit, there is an openly gay male who is the president of city council.
I feel that we generalize things to make it simpler for others. We also feel hating someone or something easier than embracing it. One of my biggest observations is how can African Americans still a minority. I live in Detroit on and off for 30 years. From studies and other information, African Americans are dying left and right. Latinos does not kill another over trivial things like shoes or glasses. I feel like a minority regardless where I am at. As I learn more, I plan on educating others that unlike other African Americans who fit into a stereotypes.
Eugene Chandler III
2010: Valentine's Day Hype
Dear Friends,
Why is Valentine’s Day so important to people? To all the single people, it reminds them they are alone. To those people who have someone, they have to buy something to appease their love ones. So why do most celebrate it? I am not saying, I hate the day but I am tired of the hype in the day. We live in a world where we hype up holidays. Starting in February and ends January, we hype up holidays.
Starting with Valentine’s Day, we will have all these events during the year that will be hyped to death. To me, Valentine’s Day makes some people get depressed. I use to be single and hated this day. I don’t hate this day but I just wish it would not be heavily hyped. With that said, that’s also true for the made up fall version called Sweetest Day. So to all those that have a lover, a partner, or even a close friend, enjoy the day but to all those who are single, don’t think about being alone but go out and enjoy being single.
Eugene Chandler III
Why is Valentine’s Day so important to people? To all the single people, it reminds them they are alone. To those people who have someone, they have to buy something to appease their love ones. So why do most celebrate it? I am not saying, I hate the day but I am tired of the hype in the day. We live in a world where we hype up holidays. Starting in February and ends January, we hype up holidays.
Starting with Valentine’s Day, we will have all these events during the year that will be hyped to death. To me, Valentine’s Day makes some people get depressed. I use to be single and hated this day. I don’t hate this day but I just wish it would not be heavily hyped. With that said, that’s also true for the made up fall version called Sweetest Day. So to all those that have a lover, a partner, or even a close friend, enjoy the day but to all those who are single, don’t think about being alone but go out and enjoy being single.
Eugene Chandler III
African American History 2010: Honoring My First Teacher
Dear Friends,
Today is my mother’s birthday but also one year ago, my mother’s family lost an icon. Last year, my great aunt passed. My great aunt was a teacher both in public schools and in church. My great aunt taught me how to read at an early age. The reason why I am bringing up my great aunt is because she was my first teacher, and my mom was my teacher and disciplinarian. It’s hard to not see my great aunt because she’s in a better place. I know she’s happier. This woman made me learn to tolerate things and try to understand rather than judge people and things. If she did live longer, she would be proud of what things are being done in the world. She grew up during a time of social injustice and segregation. As part of my journey into African American History, I am honoring my great aunt because she taught a lot of people the word of God and their ABCs and 123s.
Eugene Chandler III
Today is my mother’s birthday but also one year ago, my mother’s family lost an icon. Last year, my great aunt passed. My great aunt was a teacher both in public schools and in church. My great aunt taught me how to read at an early age. The reason why I am bringing up my great aunt is because she was my first teacher, and my mom was my teacher and disciplinarian. It’s hard to not see my great aunt because she’s in a better place. I know she’s happier. This woman made me learn to tolerate things and try to understand rather than judge people and things. If she did live longer, she would be proud of what things are being done in the world. She grew up during a time of social injustice and segregation. As part of my journey into African American History, I am honoring my great aunt because she taught a lot of people the word of God and their ABCs and 123s.
Eugene Chandler III
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