Dear Friends,
What I am about to say will shock some people: It is hard for me to really love a person. I was watching this documentary called Paper Heart. It stars the Asian chick from Knocked Up and The dopey kid from Superbad. The Asian chick said she was not able to love someone. I can agree with her to a point. I love some people but not everyone. I am getting older and find it hard to love someone. I can say it to people but there are like a small number of people I really love with all my heart.
To love someone, you need to be able to trust them, respect them, and be able to be yourself around them. I am not myself to a lot of people because I think I have some fake ass friends or some evil assholes. So why is it hard for me to really love someone? One reason is that I never really been in love. I have been with women that were able to love me but I really did not love them. That’s also because of my mindset when I was with these people. You do have to have a mindset to love someone. I don’t except for family. I love my family to an extent. Depending on if I am talking about my mother’s family or my father’s family. As funny as this sound, I love my son even though I have not seen him or even connected with him.
So why is it hard to love someone? I guess it would depend on if a person loves them for themselves or something they posses. I guess in my case, I love them for helping me but I don’t love them for themselves. Rather to be asking more questions about who I love, I need to see if I was ever in love. I use to say more than once but I think I only love three women outside my mother. That’s a scary thought to know I was with some of my exes just because of something materialistic. More to come.
Eugene Chandler III
Friday, March 12, 2010
March Madness 2010: Am I Angry?
Dear Friends,
I’m a 31 year old African American male living in a rural area outside Detroit MI. I am constantly bombarded with dumb shit, stress, and childish shit. Since I deal with all that and more, does that make me a case for anger management? I have been with less than ten women in my life time, and yet only the last three claims I need to go to counseling for anger management. I’m not allowed to go off on a person for pissing me off and putting me in a bad place. I have been able to keep my cool but when you with someone that has not ever been in love or been in a committed relationship, your patience is thinner than wax paper.
Why is it hard for some people to let you relax and let you calm down from a stressful day? It is because they want someone to fight with or to fuck with. This is why most relationship ends on a bad note or worse. This is also why people tend to not live with a lover. So why is it people want to make you think you have anger issues and want you to go to counseling? Some people don’t have these issues. They have immature people in their life. So do I have anger issues? No but I have no problem getting mad just to get this person off my case. I’m a black man living in America. I am automatically angry, and pissed at my country.
One more thing, since I am a black man living in America, why is it harder for people like me to be happy? It is not like I want to be mad at the world but I do want to come home and not feel like there is someone there to piss me off. More to come.
Eugene Chandler III
I’m a 31 year old African American male living in a rural area outside Detroit MI. I am constantly bombarded with dumb shit, stress, and childish shit. Since I deal with all that and more, does that make me a case for anger management? I have been with less than ten women in my life time, and yet only the last three claims I need to go to counseling for anger management. I’m not allowed to go off on a person for pissing me off and putting me in a bad place. I have been able to keep my cool but when you with someone that has not ever been in love or been in a committed relationship, your patience is thinner than wax paper.
Why is it hard for some people to let you relax and let you calm down from a stressful day? It is because they want someone to fight with or to fuck with. This is why most relationship ends on a bad note or worse. This is also why people tend to not live with a lover. So why is it people want to make you think you have anger issues and want you to go to counseling? Some people don’t have these issues. They have immature people in their life. So do I have anger issues? No but I have no problem getting mad just to get this person off my case. I’m a black man living in America. I am automatically angry, and pissed at my country.
One more thing, since I am a black man living in America, why is it harder for people like me to be happy? It is not like I want to be mad at the world but I do want to come home and not feel like there is someone there to piss me off. More to come.
Eugene Chandler III
Monday, March 8, 2010
March Madness 2010: Forcing Religion
Dear Friends,
Recently, I attended something that made my skin crawl. Now if you know me, you know I do not like people forcing religion down anyone’s throat especially mines. There was a guy that came to town that was advertised as a motivational speaker. I like motivational speakers but only if they can motivate without religion. This guy had no arms or legs. He was from Australia and was talking but he was using religion. Now before he spoke, there was basically a revival. There was a family of singers that was signing and praising God. Now I am not an atheist, I do believe in God. I hate being somewhere that falsely advertise one thing and you get something different. Now my mother and girlfriend were enjoying themselves but that only because they never had to sit through sermons like I have.
You might be wondering why I am getting upset about this. Well it is because in my life, I have had relatives and friends use religion as a tool. I had an ex girlfriend use God as an excuse to dump me. My stepmother is an evangel, so she basically preaches for a living. My auntie was heavily devoted to church. I had to also deal with being preach to in order to eat meals and get into a shelter. I have my way to pray and talk to God but don’t need someone to tell me how to do it. Now this guy was talking from his experiences but I hate when people become guilty of what they did in the past. I did not cry to God or hate God for my life but I learn to accept and not preach to people about my mistakes. So my point is if you believe in God, that’s fine but don’t try to preach it to others and expect others to be your sheep.
Eugene Chandler III
Recently, I attended something that made my skin crawl. Now if you know me, you know I do not like people forcing religion down anyone’s throat especially mines. There was a guy that came to town that was advertised as a motivational speaker. I like motivational speakers but only if they can motivate without religion. This guy had no arms or legs. He was from Australia and was talking but he was using religion. Now before he spoke, there was basically a revival. There was a family of singers that was signing and praising God. Now I am not an atheist, I do believe in God. I hate being somewhere that falsely advertise one thing and you get something different. Now my mother and girlfriend were enjoying themselves but that only because they never had to sit through sermons like I have.
You might be wondering why I am getting upset about this. Well it is because in my life, I have had relatives and friends use religion as a tool. I had an ex girlfriend use God as an excuse to dump me. My stepmother is an evangel, so she basically preaches for a living. My auntie was heavily devoted to church. I had to also deal with being preach to in order to eat meals and get into a shelter. I have my way to pray and talk to God but don’t need someone to tell me how to do it. Now this guy was talking from his experiences but I hate when people become guilty of what they did in the past. I did not cry to God or hate God for my life but I learn to accept and not preach to people about my mistakes. So my point is if you believe in God, that’s fine but don’t try to preach it to others and expect others to be your sheep.
Eugene Chandler III
March Madness 2010: Pop Culture Mark
Dear Friends,
Welcome to March Madness! This blog is going to teach people about what I already learned as a wrestling fan. Today’s word of the day is mark. A mark is someone that is a fan of something or someone. I am not a big wrestling fan but I am considered a mark. Actually, I am more of a smart mark. A smart mark is someone that knows more than the average fan. My girlfriend is a mark of pop culture. During the week off I had, my girlfriend showed me that she’s a mark. She actually tried to make me watch the Academy Awards. I hate awards shows. I feel that if you have to televise giving awards to people, you are a sad person. My girlfriend never explained to me why she wanted to watch it but I think it is because she’s a mark for pop culture. Just like she loves American Idol and watches it religiously. Now I have my guilty pleasures but I do not like watching people make fools of themselves.
So is she a mark? Yes she is because anything pop culture she has to watch. American Idol, Twilight, even award shows are things that she will watch. It upsets me because I would rather eat shit than watch mess like that. I do it for her but only to shut her up. So if you like pop culture, that’s fine but if you have to watch them religiously or even buy the crap, and then you are a mark.
Eugene Chandler III
Welcome to March Madness! This blog is going to teach people about what I already learned as a wrestling fan. Today’s word of the day is mark. A mark is someone that is a fan of something or someone. I am not a big wrestling fan but I am considered a mark. Actually, I am more of a smart mark. A smart mark is someone that knows more than the average fan. My girlfriend is a mark of pop culture. During the week off I had, my girlfriend showed me that she’s a mark. She actually tried to make me watch the Academy Awards. I hate awards shows. I feel that if you have to televise giving awards to people, you are a sad person. My girlfriend never explained to me why she wanted to watch it but I think it is because she’s a mark for pop culture. Just like she loves American Idol and watches it religiously. Now I have my guilty pleasures but I do not like watching people make fools of themselves.
So is she a mark? Yes she is because anything pop culture she has to watch. American Idol, Twilight, even award shows are things that she will watch. It upsets me because I would rather eat shit than watch mess like that. I do it for her but only to shut her up. So if you like pop culture, that’s fine but if you have to watch them religiously or even buy the crap, and then you are a mark.
Eugene Chandler III
March Madness 2010: Prequel
Dear Friends,
As we go into the third month of the year known as March, we also start my favorite time of the year: March Madness. Not only do we get excited about the college basketball tournament but I get excited because this is the month of the most craziness and wildest events. This time last year, I lost my biggest supporter of my life. Three years ago, my son was born into world. Even going back to 1997, that’s when my best friend became my college sweetheart. So this is the month of some wild events.
This entry is the prelude to March Madness, because this month is nothing but madness and it goes quick. Now I mention my son. He will be three this year. Now my son was a sore subject but this time around, it’s not. I came to the point where my son is not a burden but someone I want to know. I only got two years left before he will be aware of what’s going on. This also the month where I start my process to go back to work and back to my first love: Baseball. This year, there will be more pics and maybe a blog series based on my vendor activities. So let’s get ready for March Madness and the insanity that comes with it.
Eugene Chandler III
As we go into the third month of the year known as March, we also start my favorite time of the year: March Madness. Not only do we get excited about the college basketball tournament but I get excited because this is the month of the most craziness and wildest events. This time last year, I lost my biggest supporter of my life. Three years ago, my son was born into world. Even going back to 1997, that’s when my best friend became my college sweetheart. So this is the month of some wild events.
This entry is the prelude to March Madness, because this month is nothing but madness and it goes quick. Now I mention my son. He will be three this year. Now my son was a sore subject but this time around, it’s not. I came to the point where my son is not a burden but someone I want to know. I only got two years left before he will be aware of what’s going on. This also the month where I start my process to go back to work and back to my first love: Baseball. This year, there will be more pics and maybe a blog series based on my vendor activities. So let’s get ready for March Madness and the insanity that comes with it.
Eugene Chandler III
March Madness 2010: Black History 2010
Dear Friends,
During the month of March, I came up with a series called March Madness. This series is basically the march to my madness. Before I get to March Madness, I have to get through African American History. I originally wanted to do like a kid and write about my heroes and the people that helped me understand the world. I stated that I do not like saying I’m black. Black is a color but African American is my race. Now, I guess my topic for this entry is my recap of current African American History. I already got off into cheating men but most of the cheating men in the news are African American men. From the former mayor of Detroit to Tiger Woods, these men are cheating on their wives. Now just because we have a president that is African American, does not mean anything. One man cannot change the world. However, several men and women can. Oprah changed television, and print media. Obama is trying to change the U.S.
Now for everyone that’s doing well in the world, we have several that are doing badly. We have Michael Vick going to jail for dog fighting. We have Lil Wayne and T.I. going to federal jail for having guns. We also have lost some good African American men and women due to illness. Men like Michael Jackson and Bernie Mac. So for the people we lost, you could say that we will gain some people that will help change laws and the world.
So to me, the state of African Americans is up in the air. As an African American, it is not easy to live with other races and hope for the best. I wait for the worst and hope we don’t go back to a time where I would be considered less of a man and of a person. We are done with African American History, now on to March Madness.
Eugene Chandler III
During the month of March, I came up with a series called March Madness. This series is basically the march to my madness. Before I get to March Madness, I have to get through African American History. I originally wanted to do like a kid and write about my heroes and the people that helped me understand the world. I stated that I do not like saying I’m black. Black is a color but African American is my race. Now, I guess my topic for this entry is my recap of current African American History. I already got off into cheating men but most of the cheating men in the news are African American men. From the former mayor of Detroit to Tiger Woods, these men are cheating on their wives. Now just because we have a president that is African American, does not mean anything. One man cannot change the world. However, several men and women can. Oprah changed television, and print media. Obama is trying to change the U.S.
Now for everyone that’s doing well in the world, we have several that are doing badly. We have Michael Vick going to jail for dog fighting. We have Lil Wayne and T.I. going to federal jail for having guns. We also have lost some good African American men and women due to illness. Men like Michael Jackson and Bernie Mac. So for the people we lost, you could say that we will gain some people that will help change laws and the world.
So to me, the state of African Americans is up in the air. As an African American, it is not easy to live with other races and hope for the best. I wait for the worst and hope we don’t go back to a time where I would be considered less of a man and of a person. We are done with African American History, now on to March Madness.
Eugene Chandler III
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