May Madness: Bad Boys and Good Men

Dear Friends,

Usually, I would not really vent about what people think about me. I decided to do this entry only to finally ask this question out loud. Lately, some of my friends especially some of my female friends admitted that they want a bad boy. Now for the last 10 years, I have been plagued with the label of being good. I already did a good guy blog and a bad guy blog this week. However, why is it that most women want a bad boy? With all the shit on TV like reality TV, court shows, and other shit, why does a woman want a bad boy? I am not a saint but I am not out in the street selling drugs, stealing, or doing a street hustle. So just like what I just asked about why a woman wants a bad guy, I really want to ask what does a bad boy got that makes a woman want them over someone that is trying to be good.

First of all, I honestly think some women are really conflicted with their choices in men. By wanting a bad boy, you set yourself to the reticule of being associated to someone that is not doing good for themselves. I say that because if you watch daytime TV or even any reality show, the bad boys always get called to do DNA test for kids and being basically a male ho. I have stories of female friends bitching about their boyfriends who are bad boys basically fucking around, selling drugs or beating them. I might be wrong for saying this but most of it is true. Like I said, I am not a saint but at least I am myself and real not a persona.

Second, for these women that want a bad boy, there is also the fact that you can get caught into their world and their dirty. I know most of the bad boys hold good jobs but we all know that the streets are a brutal bitch sometimes. Women that hang with bad boys tend to be caught into the crosshairs of stupid nonsense. Women do die from being with their bad boy boyfriends while hanging in the streets. I am not trying to sound jaded but watch the news and see what I mean.

Third, bad boys and good women do equal baby drama. No matter how you spin it, baby drama usually kills the façade of a bad boy. Maury is a prime example of what happens when you get a wannabe or legit bad boy with a woman or little girl. DNA test and polygraphs test run rampant with women that wanted a bad boy but get someone that becomes a deadbeat dad.

Fourth, my personal favorite when some women say they want a bad boy: because good guys finish last. That’s a bunch of bullshit. I am not a psychologist but most of these women that want a bad boy show that their reasons stem from the opposite of what their fathers or father figures did. If they worked their asses off, they wanted someone that did a street hustle.

I might be speaking out of my ass. I might sound like a bitter person for what some women want in a guy. However, I just wish that some women would think about the real men in the world. Guys that want someone to be themselves and not females looking for a thrill or someone that is different then what they been dealing with. Sometimes, it is easier for some people to just be alone. I am not saying that about myself but I think men would be happier with normal women and vice versa for women. I am not saying all bad boys are not good for some women but I am saying that those that are really bad and no good don’t need someone good to be with them. What’s ironic is that most of my female friends tell me they want a bad boy but really they want someone that can provide and support themselves and others.  I guess I will never know what makes a woman want a bad boy but I can hope to find women that want a good man.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Kentucky Trip

Dear Friends,

I was blessed to have gone on a trip that made this month a good one. Last year, I went to Kentucky but had to come back because I was too late to work. However, this year I made up for last year. I was blessed to have worked the Kentucky Derby. So as a sports fan, I can say that I worked a world series (mlb), a super bowl (nfl), an all star game (mlb), the Final Four of college basketball and hockey (ncaa), and now the Kentucky Derby. Being in Louisville is different than being in Cleveland, Chicago, or even Cincinnati. This is my short and sweet recount of working this event.

The morning sky in Louisville was beautiful. When I arrived there at 6 am on Friday, the sky was a honey color with the sun in the horizon. When I stepped on Muhammad Ali Blvd made me see that I was in Louisville and that I was somewhere that did not know who I was in Detroit. When I got to Churchill Downs, there was the smell of horse shit, fresh grass, and BBQ. Seeing all the people that I was going to work with made me see that I was in the big time. There were guys from all over the Midwest and South. After wasting three hours of waiting, it was time to work the event called Kentucky Oaks. This was the horse race before the Derby. I met with people that were from all over the U.S. I served to business people from as far as Alaska and as close as Cincinnati. My day was long but the benefits were better. At the end of the day, I was happy to work my ass off and to have something to feel accomplished of.

When I woke up the next day, the sky was blue. I was in the bluegrass state and it was as blue as the University of Kentucky. God was blessing this place and letting me see a new day. When I got to Churchill Downs, the horses were out grazing and it was beautiful. The track was perfect for racing and the people were nice and happy. After a long wait for the people to sit down and relax, it was time to work. The women were in beautiful hats, the men were in suits and sandals. The beautiful people were out on this day. I saw some celebrities but my focus was on the common people. This was a great day and it was a prosperous one as well. Seeing those horses races gave me a new breathe of fresh air. The people were happy when they won and upset when they lost. This was a good day. Leaving Louisville was crazy and scary but it was worth the hassle. The trip was successful and it gave me something to think about for next year. I also know that if I do come back, I need to do things in advance.

This was the start of great things in my life. I am blessed to have special people in my life. I am blessed to have family. Things are only looking up for me because I been down. With that said, it is time for me to end this entry but there are so much more to speak on soon.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: My Year of Hell Revisited

Dear Friends,

Originally, I was going to write about the other events that happened last year. The mess with my ex AF, being accused of domestic violence, being shipped away for 30 days for missing a child support hearing, and losing 30 days. I am sitting here trying to comprehend why I would want to celebrate or mention these horrible events. I want to ask myself why I am so demented to remind myself of this shit. Instead of separately reviewing my mindset of these horrors, I will make this short and sweet.

In my opinion, what happened to me last year after I graduated was both something of my undoing and also a great awakening. Going to jail reminded me that it is time to live and not be confined to what I am use to and finally letting go of AF made me see that there are other women in the world to be with. The ordeal of being accused of domestic violence made me sees that it is time to run rather than fight.

So other than what I just said above, what else do I need to say about the shit I went through last year? I guess that I have let go of everything that made me angry and bitter. Why should I continue? I am not going to but this is my last time bringing this up because I want to move on and forward. No more dumb bitches, no more silly mistakes, and my future is going to be blessed no matter what. I guess a friend of mines was right about the past. The only person get affected by the past is the one that remembers and obsesses about it.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Graduation 2011 - One Year Later

Dear Friends,

Over a couple weeks ago, I finally finished something that took me over ten years to complete. I finally got my college degree. Although, it is only an associate degree, it is better than nothing at all in this world. Last year, I was happier than I ever was at my high school graduation. I was surrounded by people that helped me get through this ordeal and was blessed to have people that I can be proud to call my friends. This is going to be a short blog about being out of school with a degree.

First and foremost, I think in this world we live in today, things are not as they were ten years ago. It is hard to find work, housing, get a car, or do anything productive. I might have a degree but unless you have connections, finding a job is like finding a gold nugget during a blackout.

Second, being employable is not as good as it use to be. We are told to go get a high school diploma but you cannot get a job with just a high school diploma. Then you go to community college to get an associate degree but you barely can get work with an associate degree. Then you go to a university or college to get a bachelors degree but there is a 50/50 chance you get a job. My point is that having a piece of paper is one thing but being employable is a different league than most.

Third, having this degree does not guarantee that someone will hire you. I have friends that are doing what they wanted to do in life but some people don’t get their dream job. I have one friend working for a car magazine and another working for a school system. They are happy and blessed. I also have friends that are unemployed but happy because of new additions to family and other blessings.

Finally, since I graduated from community college, I find myself wanting to do more because I still want to learn more and be something than what I am now. In the long run, after a year of having a college degree, it is better to get more than a degree but working and gaining some happiness and peace of mind. I guess for now, I have to make the most of what I have. I can say that I graduated with a degree but I am not done with my education. There will be more to come but this is the end for the time being.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Being Bad Part One

Dear Friends,

One of my favorite movies is Scarface with Al Pacino. In the movie, he speaks of being the bad guy. Most of the movie shows how Tony Montana becomes the bad guy. In my adult life, I have been called a bad guy in the sense of my actions. I spoke a bit about being good but this is about what I have done to be considered the bad guy. Being the bad guy is not what it seems but I want to see how I am considered to be the bad guy.

My favorite story of all times is when I was detained in Windsor with a girl that I was close to. Someone else played a joke on this girl and I tried to be the good guy but at first I acted selfishly. I wanted to leave this girl in Windsor but someone suggested that I go back to get her out. I got detained with the girl. I got out first then she got out after me. Now what was done was wrong on my part but was I the bad guy in this situation?

My issues with some of my girlfriends would be considered to be acts of me being bad. I have been accused of everything outside of being a choir boy. I have been called the anti-Christ, the devil, evil incarnate and more. No matter what I have done to be good with these women, these women make me look like the bad guy no matter what.

Like I said before, being bad is only as good as what makes you a bad person. I don’t think I am a bad person. Being bad is not something I am according to some of my new friends. No matter what, the stigma of being labeled a bad guy sticks with you for a long time.

In Scarface, Tony Montana speaks about how if there is a good guy there has to be a bad guy. That’s true with everything from comic books to movies. In this world, no matter if you are being good or bad, there is a line that has to be crossed. I have crossed that line many times and either have been burnt or blessed. I guess it does depend on the severity of what is done to be called good or bad. This discussion will not be over with but only beginning.

Eugene Chandler III

May Madness: Being Good Part One

Dear Friends,

I know it has been a while since I have posted something but the last few weeks have been busy and hectic. In the next few days, I will let you all in what has been going on in my life. This entry is about something that has been plaguing me. It is something that I never thought I would speak of out loud to my friends and other people. We live in a world that people are either good people or bad people. This is the good people blog.

Being good is something that is not only mentioned and used in the bible but somewhat in all religious and humanistic ideology. People even use the ideal of karma for what happens if you are not good. Being good is not just a state of mind but more so something that helps people to avoid the pitfalls of being depressed and do something like steal or kill.

Being good is something that I have been fighting since my teens. We all know that being good comes with the blessings of health, happiness, and sometimes a financial blessing. I have been tempting being good only because of the circumstances in my life. If someone drops $20 on the street or if someone does something bad and I witness it. Being good is something that is a lost art in the youth of today only because of the street rule about snitching. Being a snitch is like being the anti-Christ. I find that being good does have some benefits sometimes. Not to the kids of today though.

I wanted to talk about being good because when you get older, you see things differently. You see good judgments in the past as mistakes and you see something that was done wrong as fucking up now. In some cases, good equal balancing or re-shifting karma or trying to undo the past. With what has been going on in my life in the last year, I feel that being good is going to make my life better to live and deal with. I hope that is what happens but for now, I can wish and pray. This is not the end of this subject but it is the beginning of things to come in my life.

Eugene Chandler III