Dear Friends,
Today is August 8th and that means it is 12 days
until my birthday. I am still counting down my birthday because unlike New
Years Eve, this is my new year ending and beginning. I am going to do something
different with entry because I am looking to change my views and also do
something creative. I saw on the news about a man talking to his younger self and
posted the video on You Tube. Unlike this guy, I am going to think about how I
was near my 18th birthday, how I was near my 21st birthday,
and how I was near my 33rd birthday.
When I was turning 18 years old, I was getting ready for
college. I was done with high school, and trying to enjoy my last summer at
home with my mom. As I was turning 18, I know that in my head that I wanted to
change the world and also make money. I was trying to forget about the high
school horrors but I overlook the fact that my best times was in high schools. Before
I experienced college life and started my road to depression, I was optimistic and
very happy to be in Detroit . That
changes within a few years.
When I was turning 21 years old, I was enjoying life. I
might have had some bouts of depression but I later enjoyed true happiness. I
actually was happier then because I was in love and doing well in school. What’s
funny is that I don’t remember my 21st birthday but I remember what happened
the day after. I also remember the night of. My 21st birthday was
the catalyst to how I am with my girlfriends to come. This was also the time
where I did have fun after I was done working or studying. I was still
optimistic but that changed.
We will fast forward to last year. Twelve years pasted between
turning 21 and last year turning 33. I had a son. I was still fighting to get a
degree, and also trying to be the man I wanted to be. I also had my bouts of
depression and also had life hit me hard. What’s funny is that before I turned
30, I was on top of the world. I had my own apartment, I was working, and I had
someone that loved me. However, before last year I did not celebrate my
birthday, especially when my son was born in 2007. Last year, was the first
year that I wanted to have some form of celebration during my birthday. One
thing that my ex did last year was give me one night of fun without consequence.
I thank her for that. However, through the years, I lost my optimism about my
life, and living in Detroit .
If I had the means to time travel and get these men together
and talk to my earlier two selves, I would not only warn them of what’s coming
and change things as it happens. I would also explain to my younger selves and
ask what made me happy back then. I have talked about this stuff before but as
my birthday approaches, I want to remind you all and myself that even the
slightest thing can effect what’s to come. I am happy to not have the drama in
my life. However, I am haunted by the shit I went through in my life and try to
avoid it again. However, I don’t most times. Until next time, my friends.
Eugene Chandler III
