Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Winter Wasteland: Second Chances


Dear Friends,


Something I have been hearing a lot lately is giving second chances to people. What I find funny is that my life is full of second chances. What’s funnier to me is the fact that almost every single woman I have ever dated claims to given me second chances. So I wondered how someone gets to have a second chance.  What kills me with women is that men are doomed to mess up once. So after that you are given a second chance. I am going to just give a simplistic view of second chances. For men, this is something not known to them. For women, this is a way to make a man go through hoops to do right in their eyes. However, this is how I view a second chance.

First, people need to understand that it is not easy to be perfect or a saint. A second chance is when you mess up. So you are doomed to get this second chance because in someone else’s eyes, you messed up. Like I said, people are not perfect or saints. No matter what you are, don’t try to be perfect but be the best you can be. In all my relationships, I have tried to avoid this first step but it is impossible.

Second, judgment is not supposed to be done by man or woman. I said in an earlier blog about people being Christian and judging people. This applies because most people are so quick to judge others but not themselves. So when you mess up, you are instantly judged. Most women loves to judge men with checkered past. You date someone that has a past with hitting a woman, these women are quick to assume that they will get hit or they will abuse them. Men use the promiscuity clause with women. If they were a whore in the past then they are being a whore now because they fucked someone that’s not me. Judgment is only for God not man or woman.

Third, addiction is a recipe for people to give a second chance. If you were a drunk, a drug addict or something worse, you don’t even get a first chance. When someone allows something like liquor or cocaine in their system, they are going to change because of those chemicals affecting them. Simply put, addiction is going to change your life and you jump to a second chance in life.

Fourth, mistakes will happen in life. One mistake will cause several months of ass kissing, and other things to secure a second chance. You forget to pay your boo’s cell phone bill. You live and you learn and try to never let it happen again. People are going to make mistakes but it is harder to correct mistakes as it happens. With that said, you can avoid mistakes but hope it does not happen again.

Finally, people are close minded. No matter what you do to change your life, they already passed judgment and will not change their minds about what occurred. Some people will change their minds but most others are pig headed and closed minded. About 80% of my past lovers and exes have close their minds and moved on. No matter what occurred, these women would rather move on than to fix something that was good. I’m not being mean to say that but they don’t like to be admitted wrong or made a mistake.

This is a sore subject for me as a person but also for the exes that know I am right with this. It is easy to place blame and make someone guilty. However it is easier to make someone feel bad for their mistakes and then use the second chance to get them to conform to what you want. I feel that all my exes used that as a way to see if I will not forget a birthday, or an anniversary, or even if I found their wallet. A second chance is something of a cop out but most times it is a tool for forgiveness. I will just say that for men it is easier to avoid getting a second chance if you just try to do right. For women, it is easy to avoid a second chance if you don’t lie. Either way, people are going to get second chances no matter what.







Eugene Chandler III

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