Dear Friends,
Something I have been hearing a lot lately is giving second
chances to people. What I find funny is that my life is full of second chances.
What’s funnier to me is the fact that almost every single woman I have ever
dated claims to given me second chances. So I wondered how someone gets to have
a second chance. What kills me with
women is that men are doomed to mess up once. So after that you are given a
second chance. I am going to just give a simplistic view of second chances. For
men, this is something not known to them. For women, this is a way to make a
man go through hoops to do right in their eyes. However, this is how I view a
second chance.
First, people need to understand that it is not easy to be
perfect or a saint. A second chance is when you mess up. So you are doomed to
get this second chance because in someone else’s eyes, you messed up. Like I
said, people are not perfect or saints. No matter what you are, don’t try to be
perfect but be the best you can be. In all my relationships, I have tried to
avoid this first step but it is impossible.
Second, judgment is not supposed to be done by man or woman.
I said in an earlier blog about people being Christian and judging people. This
applies because most people are so quick to judge others but not themselves. So
when you mess up, you are instantly judged. Most women loves to judge men with
checkered past. You date someone that has a past with hitting a woman, these
women are quick to assume that they will get hit or they will abuse them. Men
use the promiscuity clause with women. If they were a whore in the past then
they are being a whore now because they fucked someone that’s not me. Judgment
is only for God not man or woman.
Third, addiction is a recipe for people to give a second
chance. If you were a drunk, a drug addict or something worse, you don’t even
get a first chance. When someone allows something like liquor or cocaine in
their system, they are going to change because of those chemicals affecting
them. Simply put, addiction is going to change your life and you jump to a
second chance in life.
Fourth, mistakes will happen in life. One mistake will cause
several months of ass kissing, and other things to secure a second chance. You
forget to pay your boo’s cell phone bill. You live and you learn and try to
never let it happen again. People are going to make mistakes but it is harder
to correct mistakes as it happens. With that said, you can avoid mistakes but
hope it does not happen again.
Finally, people are close minded. No matter what you do to
change your life, they already passed judgment and will not change their minds
about what occurred. Some people will change their minds but most others are
pig headed and closed minded. About 80% of my past lovers and exes have close
their minds and moved on. No matter what occurred, these women would rather
move on than to fix something that was good. I’m not being mean to say that but
they don’t like to be admitted wrong or made a mistake.
This is a sore subject for me as a person but also for the
exes that know I am right with this. It is easy to place blame and make someone
guilty. However it is easier to make someone feel bad for their mistakes and
then use the second chance to get them to conform to what you want. I feel that
all my exes used that as a way to see if I will not forget a birthday, or an
anniversary, or even if I found their wallet. A second chance is something of a
cop out but most times it is a tool for forgiveness. I will just say that for
men it is easier to avoid getting a second chance if you just try to do right.
For women, it is easy to avoid a second chance if you don’t lie. Either way,
people are going to get second chances no matter what.
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