Winter Wasteland: Goodbye, Close The Door, and Move Forward Part 1

Dear Friends,

This morning, I heard the song: Never Can Say Goodbye by the Jackson Five. I never like that song because I hate saying good bye. I have only said that when it comes to getting dumped by someone and moving on. I have also said it to people on some dumb shit. So as I heard this song, I flashed the events of last night with my ex. This is the first of three blogs that will have to do with my ex. Why three? It is because there was so much to talk about. Also this will apply to my changes in my life. So this blog is going to talk about saying goodbye to someone.

The first time I ever had to say goodbye to someone was ironically the same person that I had to say goodbye recently. You know you have to have a certain frame of mind to let go of someone especially someone you are close to and love. In high school, you had to have a thick skin to do anything especially date. So when I met this girl, I made a mistake of letting her in. I also learned from my mistake which forced me to say goodbye to quick but painful.

In college, I learned that goodbyes are more permanent and causes some life changing issues. I had to say good bye to my college sweetheart because we were drifting apart. This woman was someone I had a hard time letting go but when you say goodbye to someone that you are close to then you also have to live with the consequences of it. She and I have not spoke since 1999. So over ten years of not speaking has been painful because she was a good friend especially one that cared. With that said, this lesson of permanent goodbyes was a hard one to learn.

There was a couple that I use to know that I had to say goodbye to for various reasons. The big reason was that they moved away. However, the bigger reason was that they died on the road to moving to Cleveland. When you say good bye to someone, sometimes you don’t know if it is permanent or forever. This was forever. I was sad they had to move but crushed that they died while on the road to moving to their new place. It hurts to never see someone again because of death. We all know that death is permanent.

One more thing that I want to say is that with my current ex, she made a situation so bad that rather to work on it, she decided to say goodbye to me. She’s going to make this goodbye to me permanent because of the hurt she has been through and also because she’s stubborn. With that said, what’s next is more painful than a good bye. There is more to come.

Eugene Chandler III