Winter Wasteland: Goodbye, Close The Door, and Move Forward Part 3

Dear Friends,

This is the end of my trilogy. I find this funny because there was a lot to write about for one subject. So before I end this trilogy, let me pose a question to you all: Once you say good bye to someone and move on, do you think after some time there is a possibility of going back to fix what went wrong? Keep that question in mind after reading this entry. So how will this series of entries end? Simple, this is the reflection entry.

So I spoke about being in a cycle of exes that I know. I rarely find someone new to be with. Even if I find someone new, there is always someone in my past that creeps up to either want me back or something else. I am working on breaking that cycle. The reflection of this point of my life is to move to different people. Women that are not about drama and people that doesn’t want to bring me down to a low level. I was happy that I saw that and working to that goal.

With both AF and MM, both these women had internal issues. Now something I ignore a lot of the time is when someone has an internal issue. MM had a full plate of kids, ex husband, and other shit. I ignored this because I was under the belief that I could help. I learned that helping a single mother with five kids is not something to deal with lightly. So I knew if I messed up, that was it. As for AF, I tried to free her from her mommy. That’s was not the case because her mommy was everywhere. I am thankful that I am done with AF because someone with a close family is not someone I want to be with.

As I reflect, I will finally admit that I do have a hero complex. That’s something I will change because I need help for myself. I will also learn to love myself because I can’t just love everyone else. My ex also thinks that I cause drama. I don’t cause anything because I try to avoid drama and literal shit for anyone. I have learned about as much from my current exes than any of my exes. As I end this entry, I will end this point of my life. The last three years have been stressful and chaotic. As I close the door to this, I will either sink or swim when it comes to new relationships and also just letting go of the past. So this is my last entry that mentions AF or MM but this is where the old Eugene ends and the new one runs with a new set of rules and a new sense of purpose.

Eugene Chandler III