Dear Friends,
I am going to keep a promise that I was not going to drag an
ex into my blogs. However the second that she decided to blame me for something
out of my control, all bets are off. In my last entry, I spoke about saying
good bye to someone. I also mention if this was a permanent good bye or
temporary. So after writing that blog, I decided to use this blog to show that
sometimes saying good bye to someone is better than letting them ruin your
life. This is not part two of that blog. This blog is going to be about closing
the door and moving on from someone. I might have done something like that
before but not like this.
So yesterday, I had an interesting and albeit a heated
discussion with my current ex about an accident I was in with her van last year
before my birthday. Now as a good boyfriend at the time, I explain what happens
to the van. I also do my best to help but this woman was never satisfied with
anything. So besides that and a parking ticket I got that I though I lost but
she found and claim I hid it, I had to see her post something on Facebook about
how I ruined her life because of the accident in her van. Now the argument was
heated but something in my mind finally clicked and I stop talking to her. Now,
I did not have the chance to say good bye to her but I close the door with her.
I had no choice because she was basically passing blame for me for something
that was not in my control. I had to
move on because this woman is basically a bitter one.
Another situation I had recently was my small claims court
with my other current ex. Just like the situation with the other ex above, this
one basically fucked me over in my opinion. I did everything according to the
law but still got fucked because she either have the stuff and hid it or tried
to look good and innocent for the magistrate. Now, I don’t let go of anything
but I closed the door to this because of one very good reason: If I let this bitch go and move on, I win. So
that’s what I did and also because this would also free my conscience from
further stress and drama.
One thing that is a constant with me is that things are
great at first with the women I date but goes to hell because of the clashing
of ideas. One thing I also find out later is that I don’t really know these
women like most people should. I think that’s because of my lack of patience. I
am working on that. I am also working on the fact that I can’t afford to let
women or people in general draw me into their never ending drama. I allowed
that with AF and I allowed it with MM. The only thing is that AF’s drama is
mommy. MM’s drama is kids, an ex husband, and mom.
So what does closing the door to drama mean to me? It would
mean less drama, less issues and a new sense of purpose in life. I also came to
a realization that for years, I have been looking in the wrong places for love.
My biggest thing is my constant cycle of reusing women I already know. The
irony is that with MM was my first and last time using this cycle. I said after
dating MM that I was not going to date. I have not dated since last October. My
self imposed ban on dating will continue until I find someone outside the cycle
that will love me for me and not cause drama in my life. So as I finish this
entry, I am closing the door with the cycle, locking the fucker, and instead of
looking for another door to open, I am going to blow open a new way. 2012 is my
year to change and I am going to keep up that overall general purpose. There is
more to come with this.
Eugene Chandler III
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