Tuesday, January 31, 2012

New Years Revolution: Old Fences and Shattered Dreams


Dear Friends,



Recently, I was surprised to see someone from my past. As a way to mend the fences of the past, I decided to speak to her. As we spoke, we both have changed in the years following our separation. Her life was spent doing the right thing and becoming a Christian. Unlike her, I basically did what I did. Speak to this woman made me remember a time in my life that I both hated and also loved. As I am doing things differently for the New Year, I am thankful that this woman not only accepted my friendship again. This blog is about leaving the past in the past and moving forward.

As we talked, I was reminded of a time of when my life was not formed. This woman I speak of knew me when I was learning about love and separating loving a woman and being sinful and lusting the flesh of a woman. This might sound preachy but there is a point at the end. So as I make the effort to re-establish a friendship, I wanted to remember why we drifted apart. It was simply the fact that there was a lie said and trust was broken. I am older and learn to let the past go and she did the same. What’s funny is that this particular woman is part of something that I forgot so long ago.

Most people try to catch up with someone that was lost but in a sense, she was never lost to me. I love technology because I might not have been able to find her if there was not Facebook, Twitter and blogging sites. She’s a writer, so I found her work online. I will admit that her writing is like what I feel about being in love or wanting acceptance. She writes about her life and her struggles. I loved the fact that she’s a blogger. I consider that a kindred spirit connection. She is someone that is just as intelligent as I am. I miss being with a woman with opinions and convictions.

As I speak to her about her past after letting me go, I laugh because she wanted to become a journalist. I was hoping she was. She writes and blogs. She also has a self published novel. I hope to read it because her blogs are real and explain her soul. Unlike me, who uses blogs to shed the weight of the world off my shoulders.  She had a dream and even though she is not on CNN or Fox News, she still uses the power of the pen and the keyboard to convey something to people.

This is someone I want to keep in my life because not only does she understand me but since she kinda was the person that laid some ground work to who I am now. Unlike some of my past friends and lovers, she is in a class in her self. Unlike some of my past friends, she should not have been out of my life but her blogs and stories kept me informed. And with that lovely sentiment that would be my way to end this entry, but there is more to come.




Eugene Chandler

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