Dear Friends,
Today is the 6th of January. As I look on the
calendar, I think about all the birthdays and also the anniversaries of things
that occurred in recent history. One thing that always makes me sad and
depressed is the fact that my son’s birthday is more or less than two months
away. He will be six this year. As I think about my son, I noticed that kids I
don’t know or kids that see me at work are drawn to me. I wish I knew why. Even
before my son came into the world, kids would come to me. So I want to talk
about why this is going on and also why is this worse now that I have a son.
Last month, I was at work and I had three different kids
come up to me for no reason. Usually when kids come to me at work I am selling
something they want like pop or candy. This has been happening since I turned
18. I was at college and one of my friend’s nieces walked to me and wanted me
to pick them up. At first this was disconcerting to me because it was a strange
thing to see but about three weeks later, three kids at a park walked to me for
no reason. I wish I could explain why but later I figured it out.
I did some research about this and found out something very
interesting about kids and depression. Basically, kids and pets can sense when
someone is sad or depressed. I do suffer from depression and also feel like
when I am really depressed, kids flock to me. Regardless of if it is kids I
know or kids I don’t know, it is hard to be depressed in front of a kid. As I
got older, the kids are flocking to me more and more. I wish this was something
that can be fixed but it is not that easy.
Finally, I would love to not be depressed because it is easy
to be happy but harder to make yourself happy. Kids can sense depression but
cannot cure it. Something I wish for no matter what is to be a father but
that’s not going to happen overnight. Same thing goes with strange kids
flocking to me to cure my depression. I guess as I continue through this new
year, maybe something will change in this because since I am a father with no
son, it is not going to be easy to be around kids and not feel emotional. So
until next time, move on and move forward.
Eugene Chandler III
No comments:
Post a Comment