Summer Showdown: Triggers of Depression

Dear Friends,

I have many stories. Some are meant to inspire. Some are sad to hear. A lot of my stories are not for the faint of heart. With that said, I never told the story of the original trigger of my depression. One thing I learned in psychology is that everything in life starts with a trigger or something traumatic. So with that said, let me finally explain the reasons why I have been depressed.

Here’s the story of my trigger for being depressed:

September 5^th, 1996 was the date I started at University of Detroit Mercy. I was a freshman and was happy to be free from my mother and also happy to begin my journey into adulthood. I decided to live on campus even though I was a quarter mile from my house. I also decided to have a room alone. I was having fun and being alone. I was being a college student. October 7^th, 1996 was the first date I triggered being depressed. I was alone in my room. My TV was low and I was studying. As I was studying for my English comp test, I looked around and realized that I was alone. I also realized that I was sitting in the dark with nothing but the TV light and also a small lamp next to my study area. As I walked into the darkness, I started to cry. I never understood why I was crying but I know it was because I was alone. If you know me, you know that’s my biggest fear.

The next day, I found myself in the fetal position weeping because I was alone and was not having fun like I originally was having. I also was not myself for a month because I not only ate a lot more but I also was acting erratic. A friend of mines helped me diagnose that I was depressed and I needed help. From 1996 to 1997, I was getting counseling and also getting help. I was good from 1997 to 2003, which was when my depression came back. That story has been told.

I never told this story because some people did not believe me or even though I was depressed. However, in these recent blogs, you see the difference in when I am depressed and when I am not as depressed. So with all that said, I think people would see me differently. I also hope people will read these blogs because I don’t want to leave this world and not have someone knowing my life. So have fun living because life is a gift.

Eugene Chandler III