Dear Friends,
I have said in the past that I don’t like or do Christmas. However,
unlike the other years that I think I am going to face the real reason why I
don’t like Christmas. I think you all will be surprised why I don’t like the
holiday but then again, you might just assume something else. No matter what,
it is going to be an interesting entry because one thing that my blogs help me
do is realize my inner fears about my life.
So my reason for disliking the holidays is basically my son.
It is hard to be happy to celebrate Christmas without seeing it through the
eyes of children. My childhood and Christmas was basically short and sweet.
Unlike most kids, I don’t remember any good Christmas since 1990. I think
looking at Christmas through a child’s eyes is something special. So I wish I
could see Christmas through my son’s eyes. I cannot right now.
Christmas to me is also about Jesus Christ. I am not a real
Christian but I do believe that Christ was born on this date. My memories of
Christmas were also spent in church. I still can’t go to church on Christmas
without feeling sick and uneasy. Does that make me a bad person? No but it does
make me look like someone avoiding spirituality. However, in the long run, I do
my best to have some form of religion.
In a nutshell, Christmas to me is not the best time of year
to be happy or blessed. I learned that unlike Thanksgiving, the only thing I am
thankful for is getting through a year without crying and sobbing. I am happy
to at least see a new year but then again, I believe that most people are on
borrowed time. I do believe that for every year I am alive, there is time being
wasted.
So I will leave you all with this for next year: If I see my
son, then I might be able to see Christmas. If I go to church, then I believe
in Christmas. However, until then it is all about living day to day. Merry
Christmas or Happy Holidays.
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