November To Remember: Family Dreaming

Dear Friends,


Well usually it is rare that my mother and father say something that makes sense. So both my parents say to me that they want to actually see and be around a grandchild. When my mother said it, I know she is being jilted for being my mother and my baby momma is being spiteful. However, my father is a diffent story. My father is really old school and sees that a man who has a child is more responsible. I agree to that but the reality is that we live in a world where people who either can work together or spend their lives making someone else miserable. I want to say that this was a weird moment but this is a rare occurance for both my parents to agree on something. So what am I getting at? Well it raised the question of if I am ready to be a parent or end up being another sprem donor to someone else.

Am I ready to be a father? The truth is that I think a part of why I am more depressed and sad especially during the holidays is that I want to bring happiness to a child. Especially someone that is my child. So yes, I want to be a father. I see kids with their parents and want to cry. I want to hold a child and be close to them. Something I am lacking is the bond between a parent and child. It kills me seeing kids at baseball and football games around their parents. It is something about a father and son that makes it worth the hassles. Even fathers and daughters have a bond that makes a future woman know what she wants in a man.

What about your son? Do you care about him? I gave it to God. I have let it go because up until three years ago, I couldn't deal with the stress. I am not careless but I need to live day to day. He is my child but he will never be my son. Thanks to his mother and the great friend of the court system of Michigan, they will make sure I am financially responsible but never be truly able to raise him. Before I get upset about talking about him, I want people to understand that I have not gave up on him but I have moved on and let God protect him.

I want children. I want heirs. I want to raise kids to know what I know and teach me the future of life. Being a father makes you more responsible. However being married is better because it makes someone heighten their responsiblities and their life as a whole. I want the full package regardless. One thing that I wanted to accomplish is to be happily married with kids. It is hard enough to be single and living day to day but to be a parent and get the opportunity to never disappoint a kid is better. I have been disappointed. So I know what not to do. I want to give a child a chance to be taught life lessons.

For now, I need to find a woman that wants to me for me and wants a family. Because the world is too short to let life pass by them. I say that because people are scared to live or like me, just live enough to make it to tomorrow. I think my parents want a grandchild. I want a child. As of now, I think we need to hope for love before marriage and baby. I made a promise to myself that if I was blessed to get a wife, this is going to be my only shot to being happy and maybe stop being a realist and more positive. Until then, it is day to day for me.





Eugene Chandler III