Dear Friends,
As we get further into winter and closer to 2012, I love to
think about the future. I have been doing that since 1996. I think my best
years are behind me but I think I got like 3 more good years left before I
finally find myself and stop seeking what I should have in my life. I am 33 yrs
old but no wife and a son that I have not seen in years. I have been through so
much with other woman and other people that I wonder how I am still living day
to day. My depression consumes like ¾ of the year and I am happy for a short
amount of time. I use to think my reason
for blogging is to clear my conscience but it’s more of a coping mechanism to
fight my depression and try to have some focus in my life. I am not going to
reflect on 2011 until after Christmas and I am not going to talk about my
depression because it is in check for now. I am going to actually talk briefly
about things I want to do in 2012.
This is my short list of things I hope to accomplish in
2012. I am not making any New Year Resolutions this year because I want to get
my goals accomplished and finally be clear of so much stress in my life. It’s
short because it is simple things that can be done.
- Clear my credit. I would love to be able to look
at my credit report in 2012 and get rid of some old things like really old
debts.
- Finish my college degree. I got my associate’s
degree but would love to get my bachelor’s degree and be done with school.
I am not trying to be in school for the rest of my life.
- Seeing my son. Hopefully try to know my son and
maybe be able to help him grow.
- Have a career not just a job. A job is temporary
but a career is more long lasting. I want to do what makes me happy not
what gets me by month to month.
- Possibly try to find love again. I am not dating
anyone and I will not be with anyone until I find real love not something
quick.
- Knowing myself again. I am single because I need
to remember who I am. I am not going to mess up this opportunity for self
discovery.
- Reconnecting with family. I hope to get back in
touch with my extended family. I also need to meet people who are my
distant relatives.
- Do more exciting things. I think I need more
excitement because I lacked it after this past summer.
- Keep active. I try to do things but they are only
short term. I need to do more to keep my mind active and also on more
positive things.
- Leave
Some of these things are simpler
to do than others but I hope to get maybe like half done in 2012 in order to be
a better man and hopefully a potential husband to some lucky woman. I been
seeking a family since 2000 and I am going to get my family before I get to be
40 years old. I just need to find focus and get myself right to be able to have
the life I want and be happy. That’s all for now but more to come soon.
Eugene Chandler III
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