Dear Friends,
It is the first of August, the countdown to my birthday has
official begun. In 19 days, I will be 34 years old. I just wrote a blog about
having the birthday blues. As I am writing this entry, I am taking stock in my
life. So as I countdown my birthday, this is the first entry of my 20 days of
not only reflection and also comparing last year to this year. This entry is
going to be about the dog days of summer especially with the fact that my
birthday is a sign of the end of summer for me.
Last year, I was trying to be in love and also fix my life
after what occurred last May and June. When you are in love, it is easy to let
days pass and also let shit pass you. I got through most of last summer with
the feeling of happiness. I was with someone and I had a purpose aside of my
own living. As the summer progressed, I think my life was getting better but it
was getting worse. As I think about what is going on now, I think I made the
mistake of assuming I was in love. I was happy to be with someone.
Usually, the first full week of August is when the panic
begins for celebrating and getting to my birthday. I know some people think I
am flipping out or overreacting but unlike most people, I tend to see that my
birthday is the best time of year. To me, my birthday is a hell of a lot better
than Christmas. I say that because my birthday is the only time of year that I
am in control and I don’t have to feel guilty if I don’t celebrate the day.
This is the first of August, I got 19 more days to reflect
and also hope for changes in 2012 and 2013. I might be getting older but I wish
to change what had happened and what is going to happen. I want to be able to
love with my choices but no matter if I do or don’t, I still end up with
regret. Until next time, see you all soon.
Eugene Chandler III
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