New Year Revolution: Suicide in for pussies

Dear Friends,

My friend Melissa is the inspiration for this entry. As you know, I suffer from depression.  I have read up on things about depression and fighting it with and without drugs. My friend Melissa posted something about how some people are bitching about being depressed and wanting to kill themselves. This blog is about my simple reason for not being suicidal.

My biggest thing about being depressed and suicidal is that you eventually either got the balls to off yourself or you bitch about doing it but live to talk. I have had a deep depression that led to some of my worse decisions of my life. I would never kill myself because I want to see old age. I also want to die by God’s hands not by my own.

First thing about being suicidal is that your mind wants you to kill yourself. That’s because your mind is too weak to fight life’s challenges. I see this in teens more because their parents are hard on them. I laugh at this because I used my mother’s bitching as a way to get the fuck out when I graduated high school. I also used other people’s stress to fight my own. So I laugh at people that cannot stand to be yelled at. To me, you get yelled at no matter what. So with that said, people need to get use to the fact that life can be hard no matter that but killing yourself is not going to help no matter what your mind does to say different.

Suicide hurts the body. I say this because I have seen some gory shit with people offing themselves. Things like gun shots, hangings, and even overdosing does make the body weaker to what’s to come. People who survive get better but the body is weaker. I laugh at the fact that people who survive don’t show physical damage. The simple fact is that suicide is painful.

I will say this: If you can’t stand the heat, get the fuck out! Suicidal people can’t deal with stress. Weak minded people tend to bitch about how hard their life is. I was born with a mother that was an addict and a father that was barely around. I am depressed by design but I will NEVER off myself because of life. I get upset because to me, suicide is a bitch move. Even if you are about to die because you are surrounded by the cops, suicide is a punk move.

As I end this entry, I want to thank Melissa for bring this up but I want to thank her because she and others are the reason I will not off myself. Sometimes, it is easier to have people that help you deal with life’s choices than to be alone and punk out and off yourself.

Eugene Chandler III