Dear Friends,
For the last few weeks, I have been getting my shit done for school, graduation, work and other things. My heart is in everything I do. So why is it that I have some people in my life telling me to stop trying so hard? Why am I being asked to be lazy and slack off? My aunt and others have told me that in the last ten years on and off going to school, I should have my associate’s, my bachelor’s, my master’s and my doctorate degrees. Most people know my struggles with school and getting one degree. It is harder to do that with so much drama and stress.
I wake up each morning thanking god to see another day and be able to get through it. As of recent, I wish I had left my life as it was but I was dumb and had to go back to a life of constant stress and bullshit. Someone reminded me that I am brilliant in a lot of things except one. I think my heart is in two places most times but coming soon, it won’t be. Most people give up on love, having a life, or even sell their souls to get ahead in life. I haven’t yet and I am too late to do it now.
When it comes down to it, I am driven to live my life in my own way. I have allowed others to mold and point me in the wrong direction. That will change because I need to be free and alone. I realized that my time is short and I need to get my life in order and to correct my mistake and finish what I start. No more excuses, whining or bitching. I said early this year that 2011 is my year to get shit done. Once I get my associate’s degree, that will wedge the door to my goals and I can move on from there. More to come.
Eugene Chandler III
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