Dear Friends,
If you know me, you know that I have a son. Now, am I a father? No because my son does not know who I am. Now, my girlfriend has friends that have kids. These kids know me as Gene for the exception of a few. Now after my son was born, my feelings towards kids were not good. Any kid around me knew not to bother me. Next month, my son will be three years old. In three years, my opinion of kids has changed a bit but when it comes to my son, as much as I want to see him and know him, I feel like there is no hope for that. Not because of his mother but more so because I’m not ready. Being a parent means you lose a bit of freedom that you had while being without child.
As I continue to live life and work on myself, this is the hardest thing I had to deal with. Too many emotions are involved. I want to see my son, and play with him. In this world, it is hard to be a parent without dealing with the issues involved with it. Unless you are married, it becomes a struggle to deal with the person you use to date and ended up having sex with and add in this child. Add to that, age differences. My best friend rode my ass to see my son. I love her for doing that but like I explain to her, it goes both ways. As I end this entry, I hope that this year would be the year I can see my son and be able to bond with him.
Eugene Chandler III
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