November To Remember: Black Sheep

Dear Friends,


So the other day, I was talking to someone about being the black sheep of the family. Now I never consider that when I speak of myself. Until I think about my father and his family. On my mother's side, I am not considered as that but I think I am with my father and his family. The only reason why I think that is because I'm not mentioned much in my father's family. I am named after my father and grandfather but that's all I got. Since I spent most of my life with my mom, my father is a mystery to me. Not only that but my father has been happily married to my step mother for years. He had another son and daughter. Am I close to them? Not really. I was bought up as an only child. I do claim them as my brother and sister. My step mother had a son before she married my father and he's more of a son than I am. I'm not feeling bad but this futher my point.



As I sit here and think about all this, I wonder if that's what my label is with my father's family. After all, I missed both my grandfather's and grandmother's funeral because I could not make it but how I would be received. When my great aunt died, I said she was more of a grandparent to me. Well I remember my namesake (my grandfather) and remember how he would have fun playing with me as a kid. Do I have memories of that with my father? Not really because I remember my father getting me from my mom but we never did anything together. I spent most of my time with my stepmother, and her kids.Again, I am asking myself the question: Am I the black sheep?


While looking up the definition of a black sheep, I came across the fact that it has a negative meaning. I know that applies to me because even though I have my father's name, I am less like my father. I share his name, I share his way of learning anything technological but that's it. When I told him that he's a grandfather, it was kind of too late. My half sister had a son and her son had kids. So I can say now that I am a black sheep of my father's family. I have not been around them ever. I barely know them. I am 32 years old but feel like I'm six and learning my family. I know almost all my mother's family. I am almost invisible with my dad's family. I know my father's family will read this and contact me. So before you react to this, can you honestly say to me you know me? No. Do I know you? No. So now what?










Eugene Chandler III