Dear Friends,
Today is August 1st. I have exactly 19 more days
until my 35th birthday. The reality of seeing this age boggles my
mind. I say that because it is a milestone to me. I started with turning
eighteen, then twenty-one, then twenty-five, then thirty. Now as I am close to
being 35 years old, it is another milestone that I am blessed to see. Like I
said before that I am happy to be older and wiser but not lacking dreams or
realities. Thirty five is close to the middle of the road. I am past thirty and
close to forty. I wanted to examine some things that I know I cannot do anymore
and things I need to get ready for.
In the things I cannot do anymore, no more acting like a kid. In your twenties, it is ok to do childish things like play outside and go to amusement parks. Even in your early thirties, it is ok. As I got older, I know going to Cedar Point is out. I have had many experiences being on a ride at amusement parks and county fairs with young kids. I know as I am getting older, I cannot be near a young kid unless I know them or related to them. Another thing is I cannot do anymore is play with younger kids. As a teen or older, it was fun to rough house with younger kids. Playing with a kid is like playing with a ball of energy. As I get older, I know I cannot play with my niece and younger nephew because I don’t want to hurt them or pull something on my body.
In things I need to prepare for it is certain that as I
approach forty, I know that the mid life crisis is coming. What’s funny is that
I have no money to buy a fast car or fancy house. Also, I know I will not get a
younger woman unless they are a whore or a gold digging bitch. I don’t want to
try to be young again. My most horrifying memories were when I was younger and
also I don’t want to try to be a kid again. Another thing I need to prepare for
after I get past my thirties is the constant doctor’s exams. One thing I know I
am not ready for is checking for things that could kill me. My family has had
cancer, diabetes, hypertension, and other heath killers. Not trying to die
before my prime. Especially, since I want to do more in my life than being
depressed and alone.
The overall thing with me as I get older, I need to be
realistic with what’s to come as I get to being 35 years old and also being
older and not making more mistakes and furthering my depression and anxiety
into making me more of a basket case. I guess for now, 19 days and counting.
Thank god……..
Eugene Chandler III
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