September To Remember: Three Groups of Friends

Dear Friends,

I love how people classify other people. We are always going to be put into a class with people. No matter what you do to make this person see you as more, this is where you stand. You are never the lover or the boyfriend. You are the buddy, the friend, or captain save a ho. I have been labeled at the friend in a lot of people's eyes. I am not good enough to be the lover or the boyfriend to a lot of my friends. I think I want to discuss the catagories  people put others in and also want to explore the ways to not be labeled as such.

First and foremost, in this world we live in, people are scared to love others. We find people that we love at first but then we get hurt and then we just want a friend but that friend could be a good lover. This person will never want to be hurt but there is someone in front of them that will not hurt them and know how to love you. In women, this will not work because women hold on to the pain. In men, we move on but we also remember the pain of letting someone hurt us. Either way, we won't let anyone in but also we can't move on and let someone like a good friend be more.

Second, especially with women, we have buddies. Buddies are someone we barely know but we use for physical needs. Women go to gay men for buddies because they don't want sex or love. Men don't have buddies because we want sex and physical needs. Buddies are something that real friends don't want. We don't want to be pushed to the side or subjected in this group. No real woman wants to be loved but they want a buddy to keep them safe. What kind of sense does that make?

Third, this is the funniest thing to be called but it is true. Most men are captain save a ho. Why? It is because most men want to help women in need. Do we get the girl? Not always. We get her for a second but the truth is that we get the shaft. Being called captain save a ho is funny because it is a literal thing. Most women aren't hoes but their actions are ho-ish.

Men and women have funny ways to guard their hearts but we need to guard more than our hearts. We need to guard us as a whole. Instead of looking for sex, or something quick, we look to our real friends and give them a chance to be more than a buddy, or a friend, or even captain save a ho. This is not going to be a quick change, but this is a change for the better in life. That's all for now but there is more to come.




Eugene Chandler III