Dear Friends,
Someone once told me that things get worse before it gets better. I use to doubt that until this week. This is my first blog since my birthday. I was going to blog throughout my birthday but shit happened. I mean it was like I got hit by some bad luck. Even though the night of my birthday was awesome, I missed work and also had to miss work the next day. I usually get depressed and have a case of the birthday blues because I’m a year older but what I feel is making me more depressed.
I have been having a rough and stressful week. I think I hit the point of which I am losing my mind. I am madly in love but everything else is going up in smoke. I am looking at how my friends and classmates are moving on and forward in their lives. My life is a messy puzzle with a lot of missing corner pieces. I am starting to think I am truly curse in some situations. I am happy and in love but that’s not enough. Love is only a piece of happiness but the rest of life needs to be completed.
I know it seems like I am ranting more than usual but my point is that after my graduation in April, the fact that I lost a month to owing child support, and other circumstances, I think I’m losing it. I have a smile on my face but my soul is bruised. I wake up feeling less like the man I was in April. I might be happy with my new girlfriend but my demons keep coming up to remind me of how unhappy I should be. As a 33 year old man, I still wish for a simpler time but I have none. There will be more to come.
Eugene Chandler III
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